Nae's Tea Party on the Ceiling!

Big decisions

2011-10-19T12:43:00.001-07:00

I'm writing this post with a heavy heart and nervous anticipation. I believe the time has come to officially announce to everyone the occurrence of inevitable events next month. Although no specific dates have been set Molly and I will be moving back to the east coast for the time being. We'll start out in Charlotte, NC with my family. After that, who knows? Employment and help with Molly are the two biggest concerns at the top of my life list. And when it comes to Molly's care I am a Mama bear. I simply cannot settle for any quality less than I can honestly provide for her.
For those I am leaving behind in WA my heart is breaking. I never could have anticipated the network of support that I have found with such dear friends in only one years time. Though I have high hopes of returning someday it doesn't bring comfort to the overwhelming feelings surrounding this goodbye. Molly and I love you all so much. We really look forward to seeing everyone whenever we're able to make it back for visiting or possibly returning to live one day in the future!
For those of you in the southeast it warms my heart that so many are excited to have us close again. I wish my emotions completely embraced this new life change. The reality is we'll both still have quite a process to work through in the coming days, weeks, months and years. Molly and I will need lots of hugs and copious amounts of grace. Just as much as we have a support system in the northwest I do have a sense of peace and comfort knowing all of the help that awaits us back in the south!
Again, no dates have been officially set in motion. I'll try to keep everyone as updated as possible. I ask for your encouraging thoughts and prayers as we embark on this new adventure. I truly feel like my heart resides in two different places 3,000 miles away from each other. There is no easy decision to make or road to take. I pray with all of my heart that this is the right one.

This Isn't What I Asked For

2011-10-13T14:22:00.000-07:00

I never once asked for all the turmoil that seems to have my life (and my family's) in a perpetual state of upheaval these days.
I'm weary of getting frustrating and bad news.
I love my daughter with all of my heart and...
I wish I could make all of the hurtful things going on around us just disappear.
I wish I could follow through on my desire to update this blog on a frequent basis.
I know I'm a patient person. That being said...
I'm continually tested and hard pressed to remain as steadfast as I possibly can with my patience.
I desperately want to live near every single person whom Molly and I love so much.
I know that I'm only going to get through this period in my life by trusting in God; with the strength and grace He so abundantly provides for me, my daughter and everyone around us.
I matter and I am loved.
Somehow I'm going to be just fine.

Sorry. Canceled.

2011-02-24T20:05:00.000-08:00

For the past 24 hours, I've heard just about enough of this phrase I can handle. Alas, the Puget Sound area in WA has been blessed with a blast of cold temperatures and snowfall which has steadily persisted since yesterday evening. It couldn't have arrived at a less opportune time for my plans last night and today.
Molly has fallen in love with a local, weekly event held for children in our area. It's a pajama story time at the library that happens every Wednesday night. After a yummy beef stew dinner we headed out to our favorite Wednesday night hangout. When we got there, I saw several kids dressed in their PJ's with their parents but the room set aside for story time was not yet set up. I figured the librarian was running behind, thought nothing of it and followed Molly to the coloring table. 10 minutes past the hour rolled around and still no gathering for stories. I asked another parent if they were aware of anything going on and proceeded to learn that it had been canceled for the evening. Apparently there was a sign at the library entrance. Oh well. Molly was a trooper and had a good time anyway, playing, reading books, and interacting with the other kids.
I had been looking forward to today for many weeks. My well laid plan was to attend a music therapy meeting in Seattle after dropping Molly off at her class. A good friend of mine agreed weeks ago to pick her up and bring her home for the afternoon and evening until I was done in the city. Every detail I could possibly think of was arranged and set. Anyone who knows me well knows that I am not a details person by any stretch of the imagination!
Molly and I had our morning routine and even left a little on the early side for class. Some of the roads still had some blankets of snow. However, the driving was not all that treacherous provided you were cautious. Got all the way to the facility to find the lights off and the doors locked. And I'm not the only parent who showed up. I proceeded to call my friend to update her with the situation. We agreed to meet at the ferry to switch over Molly and all her plunder. They'd just get to spend some time with each other a little earlier than planned! Molly cried when I pulled away without taking her inside. It made me so sad.
I did a speed-of-light check on Facebook when we came home briefly for me to get ready for Seattle. There I saw the update that her class had been canceled. Oh well. We were able to adapt and overcome! I fixed us both a sandwich for lunch as fast as I could and headed out the door again for the ferry.
Once we arrived and Molly was good to go with my friend I bought my vehicle ticket and found a place in the queue to wait for the ferry. The day before I printed out several pages of information about the meeting (times and location) so that I'd know where to go/what to do. I figured I'd call ahead of time to find out parking information just in case. And I'm so glad I did. My phone call intended for parking info became a rather unpleasant surprise that the event was canceled. You guessed it. Because of the weather. Apparently this update went down on the listserv that I thought I was on already. Guess not. There weren't very many vehicles behind me. So, I got out of the Jeep and walked around to find an employee. There was a man standing nearby with a radio and I told him my predicament. I explained that I understood the possible reality of an nonrefundable ticket. However, I did want to get out of line in lieu of going all the way to Seattle for a canceled meeting! He was very helpful and was able to get me successfully out of the queue. He then told me to park the Jeep outside the office and to return to the ticket booth for a refund! They gave me no hassle about returning the ticket money. I made sure to thank them profusely for their assistance and graciousness!
Now it was time to inform my friend of what happened. At this point I was about to boil over. Absolutely nothing had gone the way I planned for a day to which I had very much been looking forward! She was already minutes away from being home with the kiddo. When I announced that I was coming to retrieve Molly my friend insisted on my taking a few hours just to myself. She explained that Molly was happy and doing absolutely fine. A trip back home to change out of my professional attire, a venting phone call to Mom, and a Starbucks vanilla mocha decaf later I was pretty much back to my old self. And from that point on the day went smoothly without any unpleasant surprises!
There are things I can think of that could have been done to avoid learning the hard way about these cancellations. Perhaps if I had fought for an opportunity to check online ahead of time (though I frequently did already) we may have avoided unnecessary trips out into town. Thinking more about this I remember that I have a 2 year old. And usually the opportunities for such things as Facebook and web surfing are few and far between! I had no idea that the weather would impact these events like it did. And even then, the time that had passed between my last attempts to stay updated really hadn't been that much.
Perhaps if we paid for local TV, or even TV period, I would have received the updates that way. It still doesn't make me want to sign a contract for cable or satellite. We honestly enjoy not having TV in the house.
Perhaps it was just a lesson in rolling with the punches. As if this hasn't already happened to me enough as a military wife!
I'm so incredibly thankful for the blessings I had in my friend that helped with Molly. It makes me shudder to imagine how these situations might have turned out if she hadn't been so gracious to us. And I made sure to affirm her with this appreciation every opportunity I could think of!

Sewing Project - Tie Front Cardigan

2011-02-14T13:05:00.000-08:00

I am pleased to report that Wanda and I have just completed the first project for 2011! This one takes a little bit of explanation before getting into the details of the garment itself.
I enjoy the Twilight series (the books more) and over the years have collected all three of the movies that have been made so far. The third movie features a scene from the book with Bella and her future vampire "sister," Rosalie. The first time I saw this movie I noticed the cardigan that Rosalie was wearing and really liked it! Each time I've watched this scene I thought to myself just how much I like the cardigan. Eventually I decided to look up any information that might be available on the internet concerning the manufacturer and the price. I very rarely make spontaneous purchases. So the fact that I was feeling the same way over a period of several months, I think, justified my inquiry. I figured there were plenty of fangirls of the movies who had already done the hard work for me!
Lo and behold there was an entire page dedicated to this cardigan complete with images and links. I learned that the manufacturer was Anthropologie and, not to my surprise, this particular cardigan had been sold out for quiet some time. I even found a few user posts begging for anyone who might have one to sell it. This is a pretty high end label and, without shipping and handling, was already $65. Yikes!
I thought to myself, I could so make this. The sewing project was now in it's beginning stages. Using pattern websites and catalogs at a local fabric store I found a pattern, McCalls 6084. It seemed to be the closest match I could find to the style I needed. Since I really liked the look of the original cardigan I chose a moderately heavy knit fabric with a similar color to the one from the movie.
After cutting out the pattern pieces and fabric I quickly discovered how drastically different the overall fit was between the McCall's pattern and the Anthropologie cardigan. The pattern gave me really great guidelines for length, arm hole size and cuts for the sleeves. That's about it. I mostly made my own alterations by sight along with trial and error, i.e. curves in the fabric, fit against my own torso. Keeping that age old rule in mind, "Measure twice, cut once," I used a mirror and many pins to determine each of my cuts and seams. I had to figure out the front fabric ties, length and placement, all with my own imagination. I was frequently thankful that this was not one of my first sewing projects. Most of the sewing for this one, quite frankly, came from experience with other projects from the past!
From start to finish it took two of Molly's naps and one of her bedtimes to finally achieve satisfaction with my work. I still notice things here and there that I want to change or fix. But for the most part I'm really excited to have my new tie-front cardigan! It was difficult to get pictures since I had no one else at the house that could realistically take them for me. My daughter is talented. But she is only 2! If you compare mine with the original you'll see that mine is longer in length. I like the longer look better. My Mom also blessed me with $20 in Kohl's cash. Molly and I had an opportunity to stop by the store and take a peek at the discount racks. I found two long sleeved shirts to wear underneath, one almost the exact same color that the actress wears in the movie! Needless to say these were a very nice surprise!So, there you have it. First 2011 project done! And the next one is already in the works!

A "Frozen" Evening

2011-01-12T20:10:00.000-08:00

Here follows the account of a most unpleasant night for me. In a nutshell, decisions I made in addition to factors beyond my control contributed to the first challenging night this Carolina Girl has had in the PNW.
Out of the nutshell, here's what happened. The Kitsap Peninsula was blessed with a thick blanket of snow. To spend my first Pacific snowy evening at home, I chose to watch a new movie on Netflix streaming called Frozen. You can find the detailed plot line out for yourself. It struck my curiosity because I'd never heard of it before. And foolishly I was in the mood for a good thriller, knowing full well that it would probably be pretty intense. What I met in this film were a series of extremely terrifying scenarios that did not stray far from that of reality; kind of like what Psycho and Jaws did for showers and swimming, Frozen will take care of for skiing, snowboarding or any fun-filled winter weather activity involving a ski lift or mountains.
It was fairly predictable as far as the situations and solutions with which the characters found themselves. What tapped into my vivid imagination and empathy, and still has my heart pounding, was a scene with a pack of wolves. Granted, this was a theatrical production and it should be viewed/treated as such. It's pretty difficult for me to turn off my head, however. Especially after the movie was over!
Falling asleep took a while. I did get about 2 hours of shut eye before I startled awake to the sound, well lack thereof, of the power going out. Dead silence. And it was freezing outside. Where do you think my head went? I did have the forethought while unpacking last month to put a flashlight in my bedside table. After checking on Molly I tried to go back to sleep. Nothing doing. All I could think about was a dangerously cold house if the power took a while to come back.
Shivering, I wandered the house with my phone to find a good signal to check the automated status message from our power company. Our rental house came with a wood burning stove which I think is pretty standard for this part of the country. Mark and I have already had to use it several times. A combination of frazzled nerves and sheer unfamiliarity made it difficult to get a fire going. I hadn't started a fire from scratch since I camped with my Dad in middle school! My 12-year-old self would be so ashamed. Hoping he was already awake for the day, I called Dad to get some input over the phone. He talked me through it as best he could. And as soon as I got a decent fire going...the power came back on! Fortunately the fire was still useful at warming the house back to a comfortable temperature. I finished what was left of my morning sleep, with Petey at my feet, on the sofa enjoying the wood burning stove.
What would I choose if I had a 2nd attempt at the evening? I'd go to bed EARLY without watching such an intense thriller movie all by myself. I have no interest in skiing/snowboarding -- now I really don't.
What am I thankful for? My Dad who helped me at a moment's notice and the secure, safe house that surrounded myself and my loved ones all night.

2010 Ogren Family News

2011-01-07T13:19:00.000-08:00

For years my Dad has included us in his annual family newsletter that is usually accomplished sometime during the holidays. I've decided to try creating one for our own family now that we have begun to do so much branching out from all that has been familiar to us so far! So without further ado:The biggest adventure we have experienced this year, by far, is our PCS transfer from the Southeast to the Pacific Northwest. Mark received orders (his first location choice) to the USS Nevada out of Bangor, WA in December 2009 where he officially reported to in April. Although I desperately wanted to join him for the initial trip out there, the remaining responsibilities with my music therapy degree and the sale of our home kept Molly and me behind in South Carolina. On Easter Sunday we said our goodbyes having no idea how long it would before we saw each other again in person. This photo of the three of us was taken the morning that he left. It was one of the most difficult days of my life.
Molly and I kept ourselves busy while Mark established a new life in WA. My biggest, personal news is the completion of my music therapy degree! In March I finished my 9-month-long internship responsibilities making me eligible to graduate from Charleston Southern University. It was my desire to have no remaining loose ends to tie on graduation day. So, in early April I took the board exam and officially became Angela Danae Ogren, Music Therapist-Board Certified! I'm so incredibly excited that I persevered with this field of study for 4 long years, despite all of the obstacles I encountered along the way. I wasted no time after becoming board certified to begin my NICU music therapy certification. After a weekend trip to Orlando, FL for the clinical portion (involving a surprise breakdown on interstate 95) and a two day trip to Cleveland, OH for the lecture, I have now completed my take home test which is in the mail on its way for grading...
In the early fall, 6 months of being on the market, we received an offer on our house. It took several extremely patience demanding months to finalize all of the mounds of paperwork and to complete all of the necessary steps for moving. In the midst of all this, we had yet to see Mark after 7 months of being apart. Encouraging news for a closing date was nowhere to be found. My parents graciously funded a trip to WA for Molly and me to visit Mark and our future home the end of October! Our reunion with him was a moment I'll never forget. We only spent a week in WA however it was very productive! Much family time was had in addition to finding a rental home and my getting to know the area on my own as much as I possibly could.
Mark was briefly able to return to the south in November. After flying to SC and spending about a week with family and friends, he made his way back across the country in my Jeep with Petey and Lucy (the dogs) with him. He made this trip in the middle of the horrible winter storm that hit the upper midwest, having a minor fender-bender in Montana. I was relieved to get the highly anticipated phone call that he had finally arrived safe and sound! Molly and I had almost a week to say our final goodbyes and prepare for our one-way, cross country flight. It was one of the most difficult things I've ever done, bringing closure to the only part of the country I've ever lived. Thanksgiving Day was our last day in SC.
So far our life out here in WA has been going very well! For months Mark described to me just how much he enjoyed being here. He especially loves seeing a new part of the country after spending 11 years in the south and being with a boat again. Although I very much miss my friends and family in the south this area is rapidly growing on me as well! Molly and I have been making friends and seeing new places almost every day. And we've quickly begun to establish a new life for ourselves. The feelings of distance and isolation have slowly begun to creep in, especially when I have trying days with Molly. We haven't seen very much of Mark since we arrived because of his work schedule. It's been quite an adjustment going from helping hands everywhere I go, to just me as her only caregiver. A few Navy wives that I already knew beforehand have been very helpful with Molly when I've needed it most! And I'm so grateful for their kindness. On Christmas Day we were able to host dinner for several other sailors unable to travel home for the holidays. It was my first major holiday away from all of my extended family. However, the food was fantastic (I was the cook) and the company was wonderful! I was glad to provide a home cooked meal and fellowship on such a rotten holiday to be away from all of our families!
2-years-old, as of December 17th, Molly is beginning to branch out on her own as well! There are so many things for kids to do around here. One of her favorites is an indoor playground, the Imagination Station, where I get to relax with free Wi-Fi and coffee while she plays to her heart's content! With my Mom's help, she'll be starting an early learning class, for 2 mornings a week, at this facility at the start of the New Year. This will be something that Molly can call her own. I'm mainly looking forward to this opportunity for her to gain some socialization. That's something I simply cannot effectively teach her at home, especially without having siblings for playing and arguments!
Mark is now faced with a huge decision for this upcoming year. Whether to reenlist or to finally say goodbye to the Navy. He feels strongly about ending his (what will be) 12 1/2 year career with the Navy. Whichever route he decides to take, Mark has expressed an interest in sticking around this part of the country for a while. We will support him in whatever he decides.
It's hard to believe all we went through and accomplished this year! We've learned a lot from difficult decisions that needed to be made. And we still have so much progress to make as a family being new residents of WA. What I am most grateful for is that we are finally a family together again. Whatever 2011 holds in store, the Ogren family is ready.

The name fits!

2011-01-02T18:02:00.000-08:00

I've wanted to name my sewing machine for a long time. And I finally thought of one amazingly brilliant! Well, I think so anyway. Quite surprised it took this long for it to finally come to me!
My sewing machine will, henceforth, be affectionately known as Wanda.
Get it? Magic Wand-a?
All of the costumes and gowns I have made over the years?
Who needs a fairy godmother in this house!
I bring this up because of my grand sewing projects planned for this year:

I've promised Mark for years that I will make a Shrek costume for him. I already have a gown (green archery dress I made for the first Narnia movie) that will work perfectly for Fiona! And Molly will make an adorable Ogre baby. She already is! This is what I plan to do for Halloween if it works out.
My mom and I have already been tentatively planning another trip to Disney World a little over a year from now. No child of mine will visit Disney without appropriate decor. For her birthday it was a fleece Minnie Mouse hat that I made. Since she has fallen in love with Peter Pan, I'm going to try my best to make a Wendy costume for myself and a Tinkerbell costume for Molly.

Thus, Wanda and I will be quite busy. There are few other things I want to make for family and friends. But I'll keep those a secret of course!

Nae's 2010 Review

2010-12-30T14:56:00.001-08:00

My good friend, Haley, gave me the idea!

I am powerless to control the world around me
There, in fact, exists a Disney quote for any given circumstance (especially involving Molly)
A cross country flight can be successfully made with a toddler...
... more than once
Skype is one of the most fantastic networking mediums ever created
Excessive preparation can only get you so far; learn to roll with the punches as they come
Asking for/accepting help is not a sign of weakness; rather a reminder of how much others love you
Power of Attorneys are a blessing and a curse
I will be explaining just what exactly Music Therapy really is for the rest of my life...
...and I'll enjoy it every time
Your child(ren) will decide what they like, no matter how much you try to influence their preferences
Your spouse will decide what he/she likes, no matter how much you try to influence their preferences
I still daydream of being at a Disney theme park consistently throughout the year
As ever, I continue to search for Narnia in my closet and wall hangings. Next year, I'm adding green and yellow rings

Southeast ---> Pacific Northwest

2010-12-28T12:52:00.000-08:00

I'm completing this post much later than I had anticipated! However, it's given me more time to explore our new home. In the short span of only one month (plus the visit Molly and I made in early November) there have been so many opportunities to learn about the area and discover things that I love and things that I don't. Starting with our home:

Our rental has both it's advantages and disadvantages. I'm so excited about our monthly rental price which is several hundred dollars cheaper than our mortgage was! That will make a significantly positive impact in a part of the country where cost of living is much higher than where we were before. I've yet to find a gas station for less than $3.00 a gallon.
The house only has one bathroom which is good and bad. We all have to share with each other and our guests but it's only one that I have to clean! I love my kitchen with the exception of counter space. Our microwave is still boxed away because I'm trying to decide just where the blazes to put it.
I detest our floorboard heating. Each room has it's own thermostat which is helpful for rooms we don't always use. However, the heaters seemed to all be placed in the most inconvenient locations. My curtains are either tied off into knots or draped over other furniture to avoid contact with the heaters.
The neighborhood is significantly older, however we don't have an HOA. Waahoo! I fully understand the need for them, but we had just about all we could take out of the one from our neighborhood in SC. We've only met a few of the neighbors and those we know seem very friendly. No improvement on cell phone service unfortunately. I still have to do the wandering, hit-or-miss act for a signal when I make any phone calls. The backyard is so much bigger, much to the delight of Petey and Lucy. I'm looking forward to better weather this spring and summer so we can play back there more often!
I've really been enjoying getting to know what's available out in town. It only took me a day or so to be comfortable without depending on a GPS. The trip back in early November made a huge difference with that! There are some familiar restaurants and stores that can be found in the southeast; franchise giants such as: McDonalds, Burger King, Arby's, Starbucks (obviously), Walmart, Target and Walgreens. However, I tend to find myself going to places that are new to me in comparison to others.
There's a store called Fred Meyer that I greatly prefer to others. It's set up and merchandise are exactly what you might find in a Walmart or Target. The one closest to me is super nice! I may never set foot in a Walmart again while I'm here. Which is fine by me! I went here several times during holiday shopping madness. Each time I approached the checkout lines ready to pay, they opened up a new line when they saw I had Molly. Every time.
When it comes to getting groceries I really do miss Publix. However, I've found market shopping solace in another store called Albertsons. It only took me one visit for getting pantry necessities for me to apply for a preferred card. The products are fantastic and the employees are so helpful.
I'm in Washington State. Ergo, there is a Starbucks to be found pretty much in whichever direction you head. Mark even took us to the original store at Pike Place in Seattle back in November. However, there are so many other places to get coffee as well. I constantly see these random coffee/espresso shops everywhere I go. And I hesitated to try them at first. As much as I love Starbucks, these smaller chains are definitely worth it! Usually their prices are lower, too.
Here I may offend a few people. Danae Ogren opinion: The outdoor beauty of the southeast pales in comparison to what surrounds us here in WA. The evergreen trees are simply beautiful and almost look like Christmas trees lining the highways. (I'm not fond of the tiny little pine needles that constantly get tracked into the house.) The Olympic Mountains are unbelievably breathtaking. Just one glimpse at Mt. Rainier and I was hooked. This time of year it's rare to have a clear enough day to see these masterpieces. But if you see them for yourself someday, you'll know what I mean.
The familiarity and newness of different area(s), stores/shops still do not take the place of what I miss in the southeast. Pacific North-westerners do not know how to make sweet tea. McAlister's and Chick Fil A are nowhere to be found. Again, this time of year the weather is not the best. In fact, almost every morning has been overcast and/or rainy. It's so hard to get going in the morning when it looks so dreary outside. In fact, Molly and I have both, on occasion, slept until after 8:00 am! Very uncharacteristic of us. However, on the same note, it doesn't rain nearly as much as other people and movies make it appear. And when it does rain it's usually a light mist. Nothing like the torrential downpours of the southeast. So, though it may be cloudy, the so-called non-stop rain just doesn't exist. Not the way it was depicted anyway.
We are now immersed in family atmosphere with Mark's command that we really missed while in Charleston. Just like the boat in Kings Bay, GA the sailors and their families are much more accessible and eager to get to know one another. No one can take the place of my dear family and friends that I left behind in the southeast. Yet, I'm thoroughly enjoying establishing relationships with the other wives on the boat and those I know from other boats/commands in the area. Military families in general, learn how to find a "family" wherever they go. I'm grateful for these ladies, gents and their kiddos. They've made such an isolated circumstance and feeling not seem quite so daunting. There's a sense of camaraderie with these other military families that we haven't felt since leaving the boat in GA. As the old song clearly describes, "Make new friends but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold."

That pretty much sums up our life here in WA so far. Words cannot seem to describe just how much I enjoy and relish (finally) being a family again as residents of the Pacific Northwest (PNW); or how much I miss the family and friends we've left behind. Our door and arms are wide open to whomever of you may decide that it's time to see this place for yourselves! And I look forward to returning to the southeast again someday to have sweet reunions. Until then, it's time to return to my family and get on with the day.
Lots of love to all of my silver and gold friends and family!

Light at the end of the tunnel!

2010-10-11T11:35:00.000-07:00

For the past month or so we've been "dancing" back and forth with a potential buyer for our house. The difficult logistics of the sale have primarily come from the HAP program. There is determined demand for immediate production of paperwork along with proof of benefit eligibility from us (and our realtor) over and over again; each typically followed by some period of time for us to simply wait. Our case has gone through multiple HAP offices and countless red tape. Each time I think we've arrived at the finale of this process, there seems to be just one more piece of tape or a final approval somewhere that needs an additional week, or 2, to take place. It has been one of the most patience-demanding, arduous experiences I've ever been through. Not to mention, the HAP personnel continue to address their emails (to me) in reference to PO1 Ogren. I've told them repeatedly that they have really only been in contact with me, not Mark, due to the nature of his job. It never seems to register and I've become a broken record.
Nevertheless!
I do believe we at last have a tentative closing date! There are a few loose ends that must be tied in order to keep the deadline(s) for this date, several of which are out of my hands to produce in a timely fashion. I've done all I can on my part to have everything submitted and ready. 8 years of military life have prepared me well, or so I think, for the unending patience that is still required to just get through this. I'm unbelievably thankful for all of the hard work and effort others have put into this process for us. And I'm ready to have this chapter of our lives finished and behind us.
Though my heart longs to be a part of the next step of the process, I have passed the buck to Mark to handle our actual move to WA. Because of the sheer distance and nature of the Navy, he'll be handling potential rentals and arranging the household goods movement with the military. Property managers in WA (for good reason) insist on us physically viewing the properties before applying. And I became stumped early on with the online application process. It's so much different than it was 5 years ago with our move to SC; more accessible, but definitely more information demanding.
Through it all, our daughter has been a trooper, along with our canine kiddos. I'm so excited to be a family again at last!

Sew Therapeutic!

2010-08-19T11:19:00.001-07:00

If you've been following my family blog at all, you'd see that I've been busy creating an Abby Cadabby costume for Molly. I won't go into details here since you can read them there.
Before I started the costume a few weeks ago, I had essentially not even touched my sewing machine for months. Perhaps over a year, with the exception of a few alterations or patches for Mark's uniform(s). And for good reason! I was more than occupied completing coursework for my bachelor's degree in music therapy.
However, the act of sewing and working with fabric has been a fantastic medium for me this summer. There have been so many recent disappointments and frustrations for me. Sewing or creating with needle, thread and fabric have done 3 things for me, best as I can surmise.

Cost effective - Depending on the price of materials, this hobby is extremely cheap! I've tried other hobbies such as scrapbooking, collecting, etc... This one is, by far, the lowest financial investment.
Productive - In addition to the time frame of Molly's costume, I have also created a pair of capri pants out of my favorite jeans that developed an untimely hole in one knee. Furthermore, my friend Alicia sent me a picture of a toga cocktail dress and asked if I was up for the challenge. She bought the fabric and I had a dress as close as I could figure out to the pic she sent within a few hours. Next week my grandma will be delivering several things that need hems. Bring it on!
Time consuming - Sewing, when done effectively, takes time and patience. Day by day I have gradually completed each piece of the costume. I have no need to rush. I have no desire to rush.

Sewing does not take my time and investment away from Molly. I cannot work on these projects while she is awake for two reasons. My attention cannot adequately be focused on both at the same time. And there are too many things for Molly to get into (and possibly hurt on) that are out when I'm working, i.e. scissors, needles, iron...
I'm in Charlotte right now for a few days. And I've left the sewing machine behind. For now, I'm working on parts of the costume that do not require the machine. I'm looking forward to getting home so that I can hopefully finish soon and move on to another project!

Touch and a Smile

2010-08-13T17:56:00.000-07:00

We are experiencing yet another difficult "hurdle" in our family right now. And I'd rather not elaborate on details given the nature of the situation.
The past few days and nights have been extremely trying for me. Dealing with the reality of a very disappointing situation and continuing to care for Molly have been in a constant conflict. Several nights in a row I have cried myself to sleep, using these moments to indulge myself to where it wouldn't have an immediate effect on my daughter. Don't mistake me, I don't try to shield my emotions from her. Molly has seen me cry several times. She's seen me happy, angry, overjoyed, overwhelmed,... These have been heart pouring, emotional releasing, just flat out crying opportunities.
I think, in a toddler way, she is tapping into my sadness. She has identified this emotion on her own when watching movies or reading a book with me. I was on the phone crying at breakfast the other day. Normally this is a very special and sweet time for us. And I rarely allow phone calls to interrupt this meal (or any meal for that matter). Molly simply stared at me and calmly continued with her breakfast until she was finished.
This evening, as we were ending our nightly bedtime routine, I held Molly close against my chest as we swayed back and forth in the rocker. She lifted her head and looked directly into my eyes. Molly lifted her hand, placed it gently against my cheek and smiled. No body part ID (like she normally would do). Just a smile.
There is nothing in this whole wide world I can think of that could have lifted my spirits quite like that.

29 on the 29th

2010-07-07T19:32:00.001-07:00

Most people might refer to my birthday this year as being my "Golden Birthday," given my age and the day of the month that it is celebrated. I am now officially 29 years old as of June 29, 2010!
This birthday was met with several frustrating life situations that I do not care to reflect on. I've learned a lot in my almost 8 years as a military wife. And it really doesn't do a whole lot of good to simply complain and whine, especially on something like a blog.
However, the most dire situation I found myself with was the break down of my Jeep on I-95. You can read about my adventure via my Dad on his blog. I had received the very bad news that the timing belt on the Jeep had literally snapped while I was driving. This meant very bad news for the engine and I was bracing myself for the financial hit of a complete replacement. On the morning of my birthday, my mechanic informed me that although the timing belt had broken, the engine had NOT been damaged. And all that needed to be replaced was the belt itself. That made the rest of my day, week, month and year!
I also received a happy birthday email from my sweetie who had remembered my birthday; despite his many responsibilities and duties (and lack of sleep) on the submarine!
Dinner at Carabba's with several of my friends and family made for an enjoyable and happy birthday evening. Time to welcome the big 30 next year! Dun, dun, dun...

Oh the Things She'll Do!

2010-06-16T16:35:00.000-07:00

I sit here, posting on my little corner of the internet, from a hotel in downtown Orlando, FL. I sit here, all by myself. No toddler or dogs to feed, chase, clean, love on, etc... It's a very strange feeling!
My Mom and I parted ways on the road yesterday. She made her way back home to Charlotte with all three, Molly, Petey and Lucy. I made my way further south to FL for NICU music therapy training held in Orlando for the next two days. As Mom prepared to put her car in reverse and back out of my driveway Tuesday afternoon, I leaned down next to her window, smirked and said, "You're a brave woman." And indeed she was! Although Molly and the dogs are extremely good car travelers, it's still pretty daunting to assume responsibility for all three on a road trip, especially for the first time! I'm happy to report she made it without any difficulty!
Bravery really didn't have anything to do with it. My Mom bends over backwards with a half twist to help me in any way that she can! This past year-and-a-half helping me so much with Molly is a glimmering, shining example of just how much she is willing to do and how far she is willing to go for my family and me!
Not bravery. Love. The kind of love only a parent or (I imagine) a grandparent can understand. And I cannot forget my Dad in all of this either! He let me borrow Mom, pretty much every week for over a year during my final degree responsibilities. And he welcomes my entire three ring circus into his home as often as we want to come! Their love and help is invaluable.
And this is with only one grandchild. Who knows what's in store for any future additions!

In every job that MUST be done...

2010-06-08T17:46:00.000-07:00

I make an effort to find some kind of fun, "In every task [I] undertake!" Though many of them are certainly not, "A piece of cake," there are some that are particularly challenging.
As a military wife, I have the opportunity at times to take on responsibility for every chore necessary to keep our home functioning. This brings a whole new level to selling a home and quite frankly I try not to think about just every single thing I manage to accomplish lately in one day.
One of these ever faithful chores is lawn care. My neighbors have been so incredibly kind to me, especially when Mark made his PCS move to WA the end of March. One neighbor in particular, Josh, offered to take care of my lawn whenever he did his. He and his family live right next door and, suffice it so say, my lawn is not all that big. I took him up on the front yard since all the twists and turns around the garden area are too cumbersome with our riding lawnmower anyway. The backyard I have still been taking care of myself; mainly because Josh doesn't know when I have Petey and Lucy outside.
I waited for Molly to take her nap today before tackling the 'jungle' that had become my backyard. (I visited my parents for 12 days and apparently it rained in Charleston almost every day I was gone) Since the battery on the riding mower is so old, I've had to recharge it every time I need to start it this season.

After 5 minutes on the charger, nothing happened. I double checked my steps and realized the blades were still down. Oops! I remedied the situation and let it charge a little longer.
At 10 minutes on the charger, full choke, the engine began to turn over but never fired. I left it a little longer and put it at half choke.
15 minutes into the charge, I was still getting no fire from the engine. Full tank of gas, plenty of good oil, no observable problem. At least to my untrained eyes anyway. I gave up.

Since it was a weekday afternoon, virtually none of my neighbors were home. And I had to get the lawn taken care of. There was no way I could let it stay the way it was and expect any potential buyers to be remotely impressed.
So, the weed-eater it had to be. For the entire backyard. Mind you, I did realize that my backyard is relatively small. But it still took a good hour and a half of balancing, swooping and constant arm pressure to get all of the high patches of grass and weeds taken care of. I kept reminding myself that I would have arms of steel if this became a regular thing! Stretches have been my friend for the remainder of the day!
I'll probably let my neighbor know of this new crisis thrown my way. I'm confident that he will offer to mow the backyard as well. But I'll definitely let him know I'd still like to do the weed-eating. Especially since those things can eat so much fuel!
I'm going to re-stretch my tired arms...

Tick Tock Tick Tock

2010-06-04T18:48:00.001-07:00

I always knew our previous, in 2005, home selling experience in Kings Bay,GA was far from realistic, i.e. an offer made after 36 hours of being on the market! So naturally, I tried to brace myself for the sale of our home, in 2010, that I find myself in the midst of right now.
This is a patience demanding process. After almost two months of waiting and wondering I find my patience challenged in several ways:

It is extremely difficult to keep a property show-worthy whilst simultaneously caring and providing for a toddler and two dogs. This was not a part of the home sale experience I had to deal with before. In fact, our home was anything but neat and tidy the day that the buyers came to look at it! Ah, those were the days when the housing market was in favor of the sellers! What does make it easier to deal with (and certainly I hope this is not taken the wrong way) is Mark's absence. I love my husband dearly! But for the love of Pete, the man can sure make a mess! I've said this to him directly, so I am not "posting behind his back!"
Dealing with the sheer distance between Mark and us is daunting. I didn't think it would bother me so much. But in reality my heart hurts for Molly. She is much too little to understand why her Papa is not with us right now. I try to encourage looking at his pictures and videos or talking/listening to him whenever we get to communicate by phone. But the reality of it is this. We absolutely cannot move to Washington until this house is no longer our responsibility. We cannot afford two mortgages/mortgage and a rent payment. It makes me sad to watch other children interact with their Dads knowing that Molly cannot have that right now. I can serve many areas and roles of her life. But I can't be her Papa.
We just lowered the price of our house. This doesn't concern me financially because of a military homeowners assistance program with which we now have a case manager. We will be absolutely fine with this program approving of the final home sale, whenever it happens to sell, and for paying all of the expenses when we close! The reality of the price reduction is in response to how little showings our house was getting with the original posted amount.
The same complaints I am receiving from viewer feedback are the ones that I had concerns with when we moved in 4 years ago. The backyard and bedrooms are too small. Things that I have absolutely no control over to change or improve in any way. I really believe we have a wonderful house and it's frustrating that no one else seems to agree to the point of wanting to claim it as their house.
Centralized showing (courtesy call for viewings) always seems to select times of the day right smack in the middle of Molly's naptime! It's a judgment call. Do I want the house shown or do I want to respect Molly's needs to get enough rest? A few showings have occurred during this time period and they simply were not allowed to open the nursery door.
One of the reasons I leave town to visit places like Charlotte (not the only reason Dad!) is to keep the house completely ready to view without myself, Molly and the dogs making a mess. We have been visiting in Charlotte since Wednesday of last week. In a week-and-a half there hasn't been a single showing with the exception of one finally this morning! And that is with the price reduction!

I am rest assured in the fact that despite Mark's absence in all of this, I have gone through moving by myself before. He was out to sea while I prepared everything for our move to Charleston back in 2006! My parents continually remind me that, "It only takes 1 interested person/family to get a home sold." I just have to keep patiently waiting for that 1 person/family to make a grand entrance into the equation! The house will sell and we will be able to join Mark in Washington when that happens. When it happens...

And life happened...

2010-05-09T18:45:00.001-07:00

It has been almost six months since last I visited my tea party. I knew when I began the blog that there would be times such as these. Optimistically, I hoped that there would never be as significant a gap in posts as there has been this time. But, as my title depicts, life happened. Moving on.
So much has happened since my trip to Disney last Christmas! I shudder at how long this post could really be were I to go into detail concerning every significant moment that has brought me to where I am today. I'm challenging myself to provide as many updates in as brief a manner as possible!

Molly, the dogs and myself traveled to Charlotte on Christmas day to spend a few days with my family. This was the 1st time my sisters and I had all been together again for quite some time. And I loved every minute of it! Molly had all of her aunties on my side of the family to herself, at least for the few hours that Kat was able to stay before heading back to Asheville. I miss them all dearly!
Mark's parents paid for the three of us to fly out and spend New Years in Nebraska. Molly was able to see and play with some of her many cousins who continuously doted and waited upon her every, beckoning call. We were fortunate not to catch the stomach bug that was rapidly passed around through the whole family shortly before we had to go back home. We all three had already had and recovered from it, having brought the unwanted souvenir virus from Disney World.
My internship took on a whole new life of its own following the holidays. I was concerned about how many hours I still had left to meet the requirements for my degree. Once we returned from Nebraska, I took on my intern responsibilities with a renewed gusto, as reflected in my midterm evaluations. What contributed mostly to this change in work pace was the end of breastfeeding for Molly. That was one of the saddest transitions I have ever had to make in my life. But it was time for her to move on to the nutrition she needed as a toddler. I am happy to report that I completed my internship with 10 extra hours past the requirement of 998!
Mark is no longer in Charleston. He detached from the command here on March 19th. After a brief trip to Nebraska and back to deliver the GTO to his parent's house, we said our official goodbye to him on April 4th, Easter Sunday. My heart was breaking, especially for Molly, as we watched him pull away. He arrived in Washington State a few days before his report day later that month. I enjoyed hearing about his travels when we spoke on the phone and looking at the pictures he took along the way. As of right now, he sings nothing but praises about his new command and the area he is living in now. When our house does sell it will be an extremely difficult move for me. However, I am anxious to have our family back together again. And truthfully, I'm excited to live in a completely new place no matter how scary it may seem.
Our house is on the market. It has been for about a month now. Many people have come to look. No one has made an offer. It is a patience demanding process that I'm ready to have behind me. As my parents keep reminding me, it only takes one person/family. I just need to trust in my own ability as a seller and homeowner. I know I can handle it on my own. I've done it all before when we transferred to Charleston 4 years ago.
In addition to completing my internship I have taken my certification board exam...AND PASSED! I am now, officially, Angela Danae Ogren MT-BC (music therapist board certified). And I couldn't be any more excited and relieved! To add to the good news, I participated in the university's graduation ceremony this past weekend to celebrate this accomplishment. What a journey it has been!

Molly and I now find ourselves enjoying some hard earned relaxation and cuddle time at home these days. I relish the time that I have with her, especially since I had to work so hard for it while I was still a student/intern. It's amazing how much she has grown in so little time! I have a few definite plans for the summer involving additional music therapy training and working at a local camp as a paid MT-BC. And of course, I plan on making frequent trips to Charlotte so that Gran and Pops can get in as much Nae and Molly time as possible! Other than that, we are taking each day as it comes. I feel like Mr. Rogers.

Disney World!

2009-12-20T08:46:00.000-08:00

Wow. A busy baby girl + family + internship responsibilities = no blog posts for months! I can't believe how infrequently I've updated our little corners of the internet. I find it only fitting to share all of the adventures that Gran, Molly and Mama had at Disney World this past week! Check out the posts I have on our family blog to read about our trip!

Music Geek

2009-09-02T07:09:00.001-07:00

For the past couple of days, Mark, Mom and I have been watching the Back to the Future trilogy. All three of us have seen the movies many times before and were in the mood to revist Marty McFly and Doctor Emmett Brown for a few days. Last night we finally finished the third one. After Molly was asleep I came walking into the living room during the ending credits where ZZ Top plays "Double Back Again," a song they recorded specifically for the movie. It should also be noted that they are the band "playing" in the background of the western dance scene earlier in the movie.
During my waltz back into the living room I began singing the melody line to the music played during the dance scene. Because ever since I was a child and saw these movies for the first time I recognized that this song and "Double Back Again" were one in the same, so to speak. The melody line of the chorus and the chord progressions are identical, no doubt on purpose. My mom looked at me with an astonished expression and said, "I didn't know that was the same song!" Mark also had a silly grin on his face and made a similar comment to my Mom's. He was grinning because this isn't the first time something like this has happened with me! I've included videos from YouTube with the two songs featured. See if you can hear it as well!
Quite frequently we've been traveling somewhere in the car/truck and a song has popped up on the radio that was also featured in some random movie that we've watched. A few weeks ago this happened and I began to quote some memorable quotes from the movie the song appeared in. Mark looked over at me and asked, "How do you do that?" I honestly associate almost everything I experience in life to music!
When I was in high school my best friend, Alicia, and I spent many a drive to school with the windows down and the radio jamming to either Shania Twain or the Dixie Chicks. She's a singer as well and we knew every song on each CD by heart, backwards and forwards. However, one day we were relaxing at her house and I started to sing the accompaniment vocals to one of our classic Dixie Chicks songs. She looked at me confused and asked where I had heard that. I simply explained that it was the words and melodies going on at the same time as the main vocals. She shook her head and claimed she'd NEVER heard that part of the song before!
Am I really that big of a music geek that very few other people can hear these kinds of things? Is it rare that I associate movies or memorable events with whatever music was also occuring at the same time? What are your thoughts?

Happy 7th Anniversary!! (a week late)

2009-08-02T18:16:00.001-07:00

Try as I did, posting on the day of our actual anniversary just didn't happen! Last Tuesday Mark and I achieved 7 years of marriage. Every year I say the same thing, "I can't believe it's already been 7 years!" I'm sure the same statement will be made for the years to come as well...
Part of the reason I had so much difficulty posting on the actual day was because of my internship activities. Adding to the private clients that I was already seeing with my supervisors, I participated in a local Buddy Camp for children in the area with down syndrome. It was considered part of my internship experience and helped me bring in some significant hours for the week. I had a great time and was eager to be a part of it! However, it did require my presence each morning on the other side of town. Nevertheless, the camp itself was a success and I already miss the kids. Getting back to the point, Mark and I took advantage of my Mom's offer to babysit and treat us to a movie on Tuesday evening. We actually are counting the huge vacation we just came back from as part of our anniversary celebration. Like with any major trip, we aren't exactly rolling in the financial dough and need to watch our spending again.
On the actual day of camp that Tuesday several of the therapists and volunteers passed the info along about my anniversary. Some of the older children came to congratulate me throughout the day. When asked how long I had been married, I replied, "7 years." One child in particular asked me how old Molly was during the same conversation. Again, I answered, "7 months old." It was then that I realized that we were celebrating our 7th anniversary, during the 7th month of the year, with a 7-month-old child! So this will be the one and only time that this particular celebration will be featured with sevens. Anyway, I thought it was fun. Here's to the next 7 years and many more to follow!

Fun Find!

2009-07-22T21:12:00.001-07:00

I was at the doctors office a few weeks ago counting by the minutes until my name was called. The office staff had a TV in the waiting room with medical and education programs rambling on in the background. One of the commercial breaks caught my attention and you'll see why. I looked this campaign up on the internet. But I couldn't find the videos. However, Youtube had them! There are several but my favorites are the supermarket and the laundromat. Take a look!

Strengths Discovery - Responsibility

2009-07-20T18:54:00.000-07:00

For the past few days I tried to wait for the most opportune time to spend some minutes on my blog. Between taking care of the house, concentrating on Mark and Molly and my brand new music therapy internship duties, I have come to the realization that opportune moment is an idea of my imagination. So, here I sit while my husband and daughter are fast asleep and the dishes from dinner lay dirty in the kitchen sink. Very anti reflective of the strengths post I am about to create!
During my strengths discovery I have touched on all sorts of areas in my life and how my strengths influence them. The strength of responsibility is packed with all kinds of descriptions that hone around ownership, ethics, dependability, and a lack of worth for excuses and apologies. Although there are many examples from my life that demonstrate my desire to be responsible there are a few in particular that especially come to mind.

Two Christmases ago I decided to participate in a local church's Christmas pageant as a community member of the orchestra. This annual Christmas event has existed for many years and is one of the "things to do" around here in Charleston during the holiday season. So, needless to say, I was pretty excited to participate! We received our rehearsal and performance schedule months in advance to ensure everyone's ability to attend. This was a paying gig so attendance was not up for debate. On the day of our final performance, we'd had many shows all throughout the weekend, a morning crisis arose. One of the ensembles that I participated in on campus made a last minute change to the final rehearsal day and time for our Christmas performance. This new rehearsal time was right smack in the middle of my final church pageant performance. The instructor was apologetic but unwilling to allow me to shirk my responsibilities to the ensemble. What followed was one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make as an adult. I called another flutist on campus and after a brief description (including the monetary compensation) she agreed to fill in for me at the pageant that night. My next phone call was to the church music director to enlighten him with my situation. He wasn't very happy of course but appeared appreciative that I had found a replacement. I chose to attend the ensemble rehearsal in order to save my academic grade for the semester. To this day it makes me feel sick to my stomach. Either way, my reputation was wounded. I cried and complained several times after the ordeal was over. What else could I have done? I think what hurt the most was the church director's remark on the phone. He indicated that in the past he had frequently used student musicians from the university I attended. In light of this new development, particularly my instructor's allowance for a last-minute schedule change, he would probably think twice before asking assistance from CSU. My dependability and that of CSU was shot. A double hit to the internal gut.
This past semester I encountered yet another last-minute change of plans. One of my classes had several projects due throughout the semester. They had all been individual research papers. Near the end of the semester my instructor decided to make the final project a group presentation. Uugghh. For a person with the strength of responsibility, any activity involving the word "group" is an automatic catalyst for heartburn. I found the most anal retentive classmates I could to be part of my group in the hopes they would put forth some kind of worthwhile effort towards the project. At the last minute another classmate, who had clearly never cared any less with other assignments and participation, joined our group in lieu of his lack of effort to find anyone else to work with. My heart sank. To make a long story short, he did not follow through on his part of the project and added even more laziness to what was eventually quite a let down of a final presentation. I was so incredibly angry. But grateful that the instructor also graded each one of us individually in the end. So what was the point of the group project?? Sheesh.
It goes without saying, obviously, that I care deeply about my family. I strive to help Mark as much as I can with him being at work all day. Molly still depends on others entirely for her well being. And I gladly bear the torch of being her primary caregiver. Each load of laundry and diaper change simply translate to the many ways I try to show her that I love her. And that I take my responsibility for her care very willingly and seriously!

To conclude, I feel as if this strengths discovery has been a responsibility; mainly just for myself. It has help bring some clarity to areas of my life that I don't often focus on. I'd like to think that any family or friends who read my ramblings may know me just a little better after this. As for right now, I have a responsibility to get some rest and sleep. Day two of my internship begins early tomorrow morning!

I'm back!

2009-07-17T13:33:00.000-07:00

I forgot to mention a few weeks ago that I'd be out-of-town visiting family and friends in Nebraska and California until this week. So, that's why there haven't been any posts for a while! For now, the majority of my posts about the trip are designated to the family blog. Molly was really the main event everywhere we went. Though I may have personal thoughts and memories of my own to share here as well. Anyway, I am back and will hopefully finish up my strengths discovery in the next few days.

Strengths Discovery - Belief

2009-06-23T08:32:00.000-07:00

Already onto number four for my top five strengths! Before I begin typing a post, I try to think through what I'd like to include or create a vague mental picture/outline of how I want to communicate my thoughts concerning that strength. My belief strength has been difficult for me to narrow down. Perhaps I'll reach better clarity once I'm in the thick of actually writing and recording it!
The author, Buckingham, states that a, "Belief theme causes you to be family-oriented, altruistic, even spiritual, and to value responsibility [my fifth strength] and high ethics - both in yourself and others." Through these venues a person with a strong belief system reaches the utmost satisfaction and meaning in life. Important characteristics include a sense of prioritization, a desire to be dependable and consistency between work/actions and values.

Faith in God/Christianity - Hands down, this has got to be the epidomy of my Belief system. I have never turned my back on my faith or strayed too far from a Christian life. There have been times, especially in my teenage and young adult years, that my perception concerning important Christian values has evolved. I'd like to think that the experiences in my personal relationship with God as well as my relationship with fellow brothers and sisters in Christ have shaped and molded me into the Christian I am today.
Family - I honestly don't know what kind of unthinkable person or situation would surround me at this moment were it not for the joy, support and encouragement I have received from my family. I am amazed at the gift I have received from God in my husband. To keep this post as brief as possible I will simply quote him in that I, "should never underestimate [his] awesomeness." My baby girl, Molly - indescribable. My parents, initially my caregivers, have become two of my dearest confidants and mentors as an adult. My sisters, now that we're spread out all over this grand continent, are three of my very best friends. There are inside jokes and stories between us that could never be replaced with any other people in the world! Dear friends who are like family... I could go on and on...
Music - I think of all the venues that music is used for people all around the world. It started in such a humble fashion for me as a child. One day I was learning how to say instrument names, years later I was performing the Stars and Stripes piccolo solo at Windsor Castle in London. My desire to be a music therapist and help others is overwhelming. Music can inspire someone to jump out of their seat to dance and move around. It can also create a calm ambiance at the end of a hectic day. Music can evoke emotions or help a person find clarity in a situation. How can I not use the gift of music God has provided me to help others in their struggles?

Some of my beliefs tend to conflict with each other. The biggest conflict, I think, is between my role as a future music therapist with that of my roles as a wife and mother. The reality of being a music therapist yields time and effort that I must take away from focusing solely on my family. This is a big deal to me primarily because the two are so important to my beliefs. I pray that in the future I will have the wisdom to discern which is more important in a situation-by-situation basis. I also pray for the courage to take the right course of action whenever these situations may occur.
My head is swimming with all of the other directions I could take with this post. I'll blame the end of this post on my growling stomach. It's lunchtime and Molly is taking a nap!

Strengths Discovery - Adaptability

2009-06-21T14:23:00.000-07:00

What is one of the first lessons one learns as a military wife? The plan will almost always change.
What is typically the second lesson learned after the first? You go with the flow. You adapt and overcome.
It is realization of the nature of my husband's job and its impact on my life that I believe have helped me these past 7 years as his wife. The third top strength of mine, adaptability, has played a crucial role with my reactions to last minute changes with his life. Countless times, especially with his schedule, we have anticipated months ahead of time for events to occur in a specific order and time frame; only to find out at the last minute that the plan has taken a different course and to expect anything to change as a result. Though it can definitely be a frustration (especially now having a child) I do not find it difficult to deal with these situations, however maddening they can become. More often than not, my desire to empathize with Mark's well being and how he is handling the situation arises before a personal impact. (It'sfun to see how my strengths play off of each other!)
I can remember, vividly, certain moments with other Navy wives when Mark was stationed on the submarine. There were a few in particular that struggled with the volatile nature of the boat schedule. It was rather pointless to depend on classified departure and arrival dates since they usually ended up becoming inaccurate. Tempers and emotions flying during family readiness group meetings, I sat there with a personal calm knowing in my mind that this was an aspect of Mark's job that was completely and utterly uncontrollable. I made it a point to never cut things too close to his schedule when making plans for travel or whatnot. Of all things, the only event that came really close to jeopardy was our wedding day! He came back 2-3 weeks past what he could only vaguely communicate would be his arrival date. (being only his fiancee I was not privy to the classified boat schedule yet) 7 years later we still have various last minute interruptions to deal with throughout the year. I try to be the best support I can be by tapping into what comes naturally. To adapt.
I'd like to think one of my shining moments as an adapter came in April of 2008. When I saw in the indicator of the pregnancy test, and knew that our lives had changed forever, my thoughts immediately went to all that I had originally intended for the months and years to come. Thankfully, helping hands from my family and friends are still key players in my determination to earn a music therapy degree. There are other plans that I've either abandoned or have put on hold for a while. And I know that God is in full control and would not give anything to me that I cannot handle! My future in addition to my family's future is most certainly not a "fixed destination." It gives me great joy to have the ability to be flexible to the curve balls that life may throw! I've come to "expect them."

Strengths Discovery - Developer

2009-06-17T07:12:00.000-07:00

Continuing on with my personal journey, this post will focus on my strength as a developer. In addition to its usefulness with my family and friends, I strongly believe that this is one of the key components concerning my desire to be and capability as a music therapist.

The role of a music therapist is very much a leadership opportunity. Just like any other therapy field, people come to you with some kind of individual need with the hopes that you will have the tools to help them in the most effective way possible. As a developer I am quickly drawn to seeing the "potential in others." (Buckingham & Clifton, 2001) What sets music therapy apart from other types of therapies is the use of music to help people reach some kind of non-musical goal. Therein lies a unique medium that clients may never have tried, throwing even more fuel onto to my internal developer fire! Through my clinical experiences I have discovered overwhelming joy when I observe clients discovering abilities and options that they previously never considered, or at least took seriously. I am encouraged by the encouragment they receive from me. One specific moment that comes to mind happened during one of my clinicals with children who had language delays. At our final session, during a self and peer recognition activity, a child previously unresponsive, recognized their name during the song, and lifted their hands right before pointing to themself! It was an incredible breakthrough for the child as well as the teacher and for my clinical partner and me. I was walking on air for the rest of the day!
I'd like to think that my strength as a developer is especially helpful in my relationships with those who are close to me. There have been a few times that Mark and I felt like we were hitting nothing but roadblocks in certain situations. What helped me during those times were to think of any possible solutions or alternatives for myself, for him, or for both of us together. Again, the joy that I experienced after working through those hard times is indescribable. As a developer I look back on those experiences and I realize the growth that he and I went through. Those situations helped us to become who we are today as a couple. Like the author of the book Now Discover Your Strengths so eloquently puts it, "No individual is fully formed." I like to picture our marriage as continually molding and shaping; never stuck or unchanging.
For the past two years I have managed the responsibility as band captain for the Charleston Southern University marching band. This position demanded an enormous amount of empathy as well as my strength as a developer. So many band members either came to me (or I found them) with problems or struggles they were experiencing. I could almost visualize their amazing potential if they were to just work on some kind of personal skill or to focus their efforts in a more encouraging direction. Through vocalizing my opinion (if they wanted it) or often praying for them I waited in anticipation for them to grow and develop past those troubles. It felt so fulfilling for me to watch the development in each of them!

Like before, I could keep on going with ideas that pertain to my strength as a developer. No blog post is ever completely finished and is a forever work in progress! I'm loving this strengths discovery!

Adventures on the Interstate

2009-06-14T18:58:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was, without a doubt, one of the worst car trips I have ever experienced. After spending a week in Charlotte with my parents, I decided to head back to Charleston Saturday morning in order to be back for a wedding I was attending that evening. It was just myself with Molly and my two dogs, Petey and Lucy. I've taken several road trips with the three of them before and handled it with style and grace! I figured the traffic would not be quite so bad had I traveled on a Friday or Sunday. I was wrong.
The first half of the trip was smooth sailing. I-77 presented no hazards or delays and I got to Columbia in record time. So, I decided with it being lunch time I stopped to give the dogs a break outside and to grab some food. Shortly after my lunch stop I came to the merger of I-77 and I-26. There were signs alerting drivers to an incident on I-26 and to expect delays. I wasn't in any hurry and had a full tank of gas. So we sat in traffic for about 20 minutes before moving again.
If I could have done anything differently with this trip it would have been at that point. There is a highway running parallel to the interstate that heads right into Charleston. Thinking that all problems had ceased, I continued on my merry way further down the interstate. 30 miles later, just after passing an exit, the traffic completely stopped again. It was backed up so far I could not even see where the accident had occurred. Molly was awake at this point and was content for the most part. However, that changed when the three fire trucks, two ambulances, and countless police cars raced by us in the emergency lane. The sirens were so loud that Molly became scared and hysterical each time one went by. I put up with about five minutes of this drama and mayhem before deciding to get out of that mess and pull off into a nearby rest area.
I got myself, Molly, Petey and Lucy out of the Jeep to walk around for a bit. I must have been a sight: baby in one arm, two large dogs by the leash in the other hand. It was really getting hot and humid at this point. So I decided to get a bottle of water to give the dogs. After the vending machine ate my money and gave me a Sprite in return I began to feed the dogs the ice from my drink that I bought at lunch. That made a fine mess. Molly was hot and hungry and the only place I could really nurse her was the Jeep. With windows unzipped and very irritable dogs I did just that. It was very disconcerting to watch two life flights fly overhead to retrieve wounded from whatever was going on. I watched all the other families and longed for another set of hands to help me out. It was a very lonely feeling to not know a single soul in the area. I called my Dad in tears. I at least needed to talk to someone who could help me keep my sanity and peace.
An hour or two passed by and I could not stand just sitting there baking and sweating any longer. I blasted the AC, zipped up the windows, and left the rest area. Traffic seemed to be randomly moving at a slow crawl which boosted my spirits a little. I soon discovered the accident/incident was less than a quarter mile away from the rest area. So about 30 minutes later I was moving again. I didn't stop to gawk or stare at what happened. I just wanted to get out of there without causing another mess. While I spoke to my Dad he checked to make sure the rest of the interstate was clear. What should have been a three hour trip took me five and half. I have never been so thankful to be home!

Strengths Discovery - Empathy

2009-06-12T10:59:00.000-07:00

A few years ago, my Dad came across these two books called How Full is Your Bucket? and Now Discover Your Strengths. I was amazed at the author's ability to pin point specifics about personal character traits that tended to influence the majority of your life especially pertaining to leadership. These books even came with a code for the companion website where you could access an online test. This timed test (timed to encourage prompt answer response) narrowed down your top five personal strengths based on qualifications from the books. Both Mark and I both took the test mainly just to see how the two of us turned out. And with a healthy perspective we have been able to use the results to enhance and encourage our relationship; healthy perspective meaning that it certainly isn't the ultimate, grand literary marriage guide of course!
The Strengthsfinder Test summarized my five top strengths to be the following: Empathy, Developer, Adaptability, Belief and Responsibility. I often think about what areas of my life are especially influenced by these five strengths as well as the ways in which I can develop them. I decided to take the opportunity to reflect on each of these as I am inspired to do so for the next few posts.

Empathy

I've always considered myself to have a natural ability to empathize with others and their situations. This number one, innate strength seems to encompass my entire being. I frequently walked into classes these last three years and could immediately pin point who was having a good or bad day. During casual conversations and discussions my heart went out to anyone who may have been unsatisfied or unhappy with a decision or conclusion. I've often found myself letting my mind go beyond the here and now wondering how the events of that day will affect a person's life in the days, weeks, months to come.
This strength is certainly not limited to people. What drives Mark absolutely crazy (and he won't deny it) is my ability to empathize with animals. I absolutely hate movies where animals are hurt, abused or killed in some form or fashion. I'm certainly no advocate for PETA, however it does upset me to even think of an animal being in pain. I physically punched him in the shoulder at the end of I Am Legend for taking me to see it and almost demanded that he pull off to the side of the road one day when I saw a possum hit by a car.
The primary purpose of the books are to help the reader recognize how individual strengths play a role in leadership. From a personal perspective, I like to think of my empathetic ability as a tool for the following:

First and foremost, my marriage is my ultimate priority. I wouldn't say that Mark is a difficult person to read. However, he is not a man of many words. I am aware of frustrations he encounters on a daily basis and my heart goes out to him when I think about the things that he has to struggle with. I try to tap into this strength especially if I can recognize the emotions he is experiencing. I try to tailor my actions and responses to best encourage him as his wife. This past week I, along with Molly, Petey and Lucy, have spent the week in Charlotte with my parents. I've loved the opportunity to get away from the ordinary and to give Mark some peace and quiet without any responsibilities other than work. He has the midnight shift for the entire month of June. However, I know that even though he has some guarunteed peace and quiet he does miss us. And I wish we could get beamed back and forth between the two places so it isn't quite so hard to be away.
With Molly, the strength is obvious. Being only six months old, those emotions and feelings are right out on the edge of her sleeves. It's especially helpful in situations, where she is meeting lots of new faces and places, that I can recognize when she has had enough and needs a break; often before she even protests or cries. I'd much rather keep her experiences as pleasant as possible for her and all of the other friends and family ready to love on her!
As for the rest of my life, family, friends, (pets as well) I find this strength to be extremely helpful. I've read in books and seen in movies fictional characters with the ability to read others' minds and use that power for good or bad. Though I'm certainly not a mind reader I really enjoy having the opportunity to use my empathy to help others. This strength pops out all over the place: my role as a big sister, instruction as a music therapy student, Facebook (ha ha), "Mommy" to two adorable dogs, I could go on and on...

I would keep on going, but this post is pretty long already. Hopefully some readers have kept up to this point! See, I am empathizing with your possible boredom! I'm looking forward to all of the future opportunities I will have to continue discovering and honing this strength. Perhaps with reflection on the other four I'll find even more ways that this ability may effect other areas of my life!

Making Room

2009-05-30T07:33:00.000-07:00

For the sake of keeping my blog a little easier to navigate, I have decided to create a separate blog for the Ogren children. For now, it will only feature the one and only Molly Nicole. However, there's plenty of love and room for any future siblings!

1st official Mother's Day!

2009-05-11T07:35:00.000-07:00

I have now had the one and only first Mother's Day for me! I kind of celebrated it last year as a Mommy-to-be. But this one was definitely a little more real to me. However, it wasn't quite the banner day that I had expected.
My Dad offered to make pancakes for breakfast (my favorite!) so we traveled to my Grandma's house where they were staying yesterday morning. After a yummy breakfast and relaxing for a couple of hours we met my aunt and cousins at a local restaurant for lunch. Molly was pretty uncooperative. I changed her diaper (in a very dirty restroom) as soon as we arrived. About 20 minutes later she had a poopy diaper so bad that it got on her clothes. So I spent another 10-15 minutes in the really gross restroom cleaning her up and changing her into a new outfit. By the time I got back, my family was mostly done with their meals which had arrived shortly after I took Molly for a "wardrobe change." So the burger I had ordered was hard as a rock by that point. I absolutely hate sending food back but this was just not appetizing at all. With my stomach growling pretty significantly at that point I sheepishly asked the waitress if I could order something else. She was very accommodating and even offered to put my second order of chicken strips (the only thing that looked appetizing and wasn't spicy) in a to go box. I didn't want to start a brand new meal since everyone else was pretty much done.
Molly was cranky again so I went outside with her. I didn't want her fussing to bother anyone else in the restaurant. My Mom offered however she would have had to climb over several people to get out of the tight corner we had been squeezed into. By that point having Mother's Day pictures with Molly was a lost cause do to her mood and not having had a decent nap. We said goodbye to my parents who were traveling back to North Carolina and went home to get some rest. It was a little difficult to eat in the pick-up on the way home but at least I wasn't hungry anymore!
While Molly finally took a good nap I began sewing patches to Mark's new Navy Working Uniform. They won't officially become the mandatory uniform until October. However, they are permitted to wear them now and Mark already bought what he needed. The shirt patches were breeze with the sewing machine. However, the hat was a pain in the rear. I gave up trying to use the sewing machine and just hand stitched his insignia to the front of the hat. I jokingly told him not to go up in rank for at least the next six months. I'd rather not have to mess with it again for quite some time! Afterwards he tried it on and let me snap some pictures. I think he looks pretty handsome!

Once Molly woke up, she decided that Daddy was her favorite person for the rest of the day. So he kept her entertained while I did some house work. Definitely not the Mother's Day I had in mind! I'm so happy to have the family that God has blessed me with, and I'm looking forward to many more Mother's Days in the future!

Tidying, Nesting, whatever you want to call it

2009-05-05T06:30:00.000-07:00

At last that moment I (and several others) have been waiting for has, at long last, arrived. I am completely done with classes and am now an internship away from my bachelor of arts in music therapy!
I've been looking forward to having homework and study free days at the house with my family for so long. Although I have some activities with wind ensemble this week, I pretty much have it now. Yesterday after I laid Molly down for an afternoon nap, I surveyed the state of affairs. My mom has been an angel sent from heaven these past four months cleaning, cooking and taking care of Molly during classes and study time. However, the clutter that has accumulated since December (and even before that) is ridiculous. Being one of the world's best pack rats I know that I'm going to need some kind of plan, probably for each individual room, in order to decide what to get rid of and to keep. Furthermore, the kept items will need a place to go, instead of a stack pushed to the corner of a room or whatnot. While Molly slept yesterday I began one project that became more like a ceremony in lieu of classes ending.
Ever since my first semester I have been saving my notes and materials from whatever classes I thought may be relevant to my music therapy career. They've been methodically placed into individual folders with prongs in order to keep the information separate and easy to find. All I needed, thank goodness, was to order and group them into a few plastic bins. I also had the foresight to make resource notebooks for guitar music and journal articles that I have used for research assignments in class. These were already set and I just added them to my music therapy resource collection in our home office. The office is still a wreck of course, but at least that part is done. It looks like each room will have/need its own individual plan:

Our bedroom/bathroom: Return borrowed maternity clothing to owners (if I can get a hold of them), donate/throw away clothes and items we haven't used for years, consider getting a hamper for Mark just for clothes he has worn but can be worn again (instead of them getting thrown in the middle of the floor)
Living Room: Get rid of old magazines lying around, use Christmas money to buy another set of DVD shelves (yeah, we haven't even used our Christmas money yet!)
Kitchen/Dining areas: Move papers and old bills into office, make more cabinet space for soon-to-come baby food as well as dishes and utensils for Molly, get rid of old appliances and items that are never used, finish the jigsaw puzzle we started after Molly was born.
Home Office: Throw away broken printer (we replaced it months ago!), clean out filing drawers so they can be useful again, consider buying another set of bookshelves due to lack of space for the one we have, file bills and documents in 2008 file folder, buy another file folder for 2009 (this will eliminate the stack of paid bills on the corner of the computer desk!)

Claim to Music Therapy Fame

2009-04-04T09:03:00.001-07:00

My university posted a news bulletin in recognition of fellow music therapy students and my attendance to the Southeast Region MT Conference in Atlanta, GA last week. Just thought I'd share our brief moment of fame with everyone! Click the link below to access the story:

Charleston Southern University

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A Restful Spring Break

2009-03-14T16:15:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to enjoy every second of this past week with it being my Spring Break from classes. It was cause for celebration in several ways. It marked my being halfway through a final academic semester of classes and an opportunity to devote an entire week to nothing but my family. Though I did not accomplish anywhere near the amount of homework I had intended I still consider it a week well spent!

Molly and I spent several days visiting Gran and Pops (a.k.a. Mom and Dad) enjoying a break from our everyday routine and environment. I especially loved cuddling with Molly on the swing out front listening to Pops's wind chimes. Best of all, Petey (my 80 lb wrecking ball of a dog), did not injure himself playing in the backyard as he has so many times before!
I finally had ample time for cooking since Molly arrived and decided to try a new recipe. It was a pumpernickel roast that turned out pretty decent considering my struggle for cooking meat. I can bake up a storm! But meat preparation has always been difficult for me. Mark liked it, I liked it, Molly eventually liked it :0). So I consider it a success!
She and I slept in almost every day, especially with the time change. Unfortunately, it's been a little frustrating getting her to fall asleep for the night around 10:00-10:30 like she used to. Hopefully this coming week of getting up early for classes won't be too much of an adjustment...

That's all I can think of for now. Molly has had a rough afternoon of crankiness for some reason. And Daddy is cuddling with her for a little bit. I'm praying that the rest of the evening is pleasant and without too much drama. I think she may sense my sadness that Spring Break has come to an end. I'm looking forward to summer vacation!!

Juggling Act

2009-03-02T09:20:00.001-08:00

As I expected, my blog entries have been few and far between since the arrival of Molly Nicole. Its been pretty time consuming juggling my responsibilities as a wife, mother and full-time college student. I'm so thankful that this is my last semester of classes. Though each role I have played since December 17th has been exciting and rewarding, it has been so difficult to stay on top of putting an acceptable amount of effort into each. And I certainly won't just settle for acceptable! Shortly after classes began I realized that I'd have to set priorities for each. And those priority levels would most definitely have an effect on each other.

My marriage has had to be my ultimate priority. I'm a firm believer that if Mark's and my relationship suffers, everything else does as well. What good does it do Molly if he and I are not solid in our communication and satisfaction with each other? We took the opportunity to have our first night out last weekend while my parents babysat for free! We were so grateful for their help and I'm pretty sure they were grateful to have cuddle time with Baby! We went to enjoy (very expensive) food and fantastic jazz at the Charleston Grille. That is by far the most money we've ever spent on a meal! But the memory is definitely worth it!
Molly Nicole. Getting to know this beautiful little person has been quite an adventure so far! I'm still astounded every day by how much she has grown and changed since the first moment I laid eyes on her. I'm so appreciative of the help my mom has provided. She has spent nearly every weekday with us since classes began back in January affording me the opportunity to finish this semester and provide the best possible care for Molly she needs. In my mind there is no word or deed that could possibly thank her enough for this gift she is providing to our family!
At long last, the light at the end of the tunnel is getting brighter and brighter. My classes end in April, my internship begins in September, and a little over a year from now I can officially call myself a college graduate! The B grades are definitely a little more frequent since my 3 semester 4.0 record at the beginning of my pursuit for a music therapy degree. But I know that doesn't matter in the slightest as long as I do my best. The studies have taken a hit when it comes to balancing Molly responsibilities. I'm not nearly as scholastically dedicated as I used to be, at least when it comes to my general education classes. My effort in music therapy is still as determined as ever! But Chemistry and Statistics are just hurdles I'm trying to jump in order to satisfy the liberal arts education requirement. Music Therapist Board Certified, here I come!

Wearing Baby

2009-02-07T09:38:00.001-08:00

Wow, it's been quite a while since I had an opportunity to post! Even now I ought to be doing homework while Molly finishes her nap... However, I've been wanting to post about one of my favorite things with Molly for weeks! My sister Erin gave me a fantastic Christmas present. It's called a Sleepy Wrap and both Molly and I absolutely love it! Every time I wear it she passes out all snuggled up against me. The first time I put it on at Christmas, shown in the first picture, I actually teared up because it reminded me of being pregnant! I'm the most excited because she can fit into it, with various positions, until she's 2 years old! There are no pressure points and I can make it as snug or loose as I choose. The big benefit is that I won't have to deal with a stroller in crowded areas as Erin pointed out in their not-so-enjoyable trip to the museum last month. Mark and I like for me to wear it when we go out to eat. It eliminates needing space and accommodations for a car seat. Anyway, that's my take on the Sleepy Wrap. Love it, love it, love it!

One more to go...

2009-01-13T11:40:00.000-08:00

I can officially say that I have had my last first day of semester classes! I began the spring semester with my Chemistry class at 8:00 am this morning. Though I am enjoying earning my degree, I am thankful that it is almost finished. I can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel! To add to this news, I found out over Christmas break that the internship I interviewed for at Trident Medical Center last month was a success! I recieved a confirmation from the music therapist at the site that I have been offered the position starting in September. It is a 6 month internship so my graduation will be delayed until the Spring of 2010. Nevertheless, it is a local site which means Molly and I won't have to move and it comes with a $1300 financial stipend which will cover my required part time student tuition. I'm so excited! And how cool is it that this is also the hospital where I volunteered in high school for 4 years and where I delivered Molly!
Speaking of Molly, she joined me for the first day of the semester. I was unable to bring her to my Chemistry class, so a friend of mine took care of her for a little while. But she came with me to Music History II, coincidentally the same class she seemed to enjoy the most last semester while inside of me! I've been so thankful for the professors who are allowing her to stay with me just for this week. It's making the transition to eventually having to be away from her much easier. Last week I left her for the first time when I went to a NICU inservice for my clinical. Mark had her for about 2 hours and both Daddy and Molly did great! I've never felt so sad in my entire life though! Pulling out the driveway was very difficult! I'm glad that the two of them are establishing a bond with each other.
Sounds like Baby is waking up from her nap. Motherhood duty calls!

2 weeks and counting...

2008-12-31T13:23:00.000-08:00

It's SO hard to believe that 2 weeks have come and gone with Molly Nicole! She has already changed so much in 14 days it seems hard to keep up. I wanted to record some of my most favorite things about her that she has learned how to do and little demonstrations of her own unique personality and demeanor:

I love how she crosses her eyes and purses her lips at me when she first wakes up in the morning. It has become our routine good morning kiss each day.
She likes to pull her legs up and cross them whenever I lay her on her back on the changing table or prop her up against her Boppy. I've taken several pictures of her in this ladylike position!
Before she nurses she sucks her fingers and also tucks in her lower lip to suck on it as well. It is too stinkin cute!
While she nurses, she brings both hands up to her cheeks and cradles her face while she eats. Love it!
Her curly little monkey toes :0)
The past few days, if Mark is in the room and starts speaking, she turns her head to reference his voice. So I'm hoping that means she recognizes it and has a preference for him as well!

Though time is flying, and that on its own makes me a little sad, I'm looking forward to learning and loving even more things about her. I absolutely LOVE having a daughter and I'm so thankful for how God has blessed us with this beautiful child!

Welcome Molly Nicole!

2008-12-21T11:49:00.000-08:00

I decided to take the opportunity to record my birth story while Molly Nicole is taking a much needed afternoon nap. I had intended on including pictures. But for some reason the USB cord to our camera is missing in action. You can check out what my Dad has on his website.
Tuesday morning around 8:30 I woke up and felt cramping and constrictions that weren't necessarily painful, but definitely different than the Braxton Hicks I had been feeling. The whole day I kept an eye on how frequently they came. And it wasn't all that predictable. Mom and I ran some errands and even took a short walk at the mall with my aunt to get a few things. By the time we got home from shopping what I assumed were contractions were happening about every 20-30 minutes. I made my best effort to take a nap, just in case, while Mark watched a movie and my Mom made us spaghetti for dinner. After eating dinner, the contractions were as close as 10 minutes apart, getting steadily stronger. So, we decided a trip to the hospital to get checked out was in order.
We arrived at the hospital and they got me into a room and a bed. I was still only 1 centimeter and not very soft so they decided to monitor me for a few hours. I was a little frustrated at the time since my least favorite OB from my office was attending that evening. About 5-10 minutes before they were scheduled to check me again, my water broke right after a contraction. So the question of whether or not I was actually in labor and needed to stay was pretty much decided!
My best friend Alicia showed up around that time and she along with Mark and my Mom coached me through contractions right up to about 7 centimeters. I had the desire to not have an epidural and to go naturally, but the fatigue of little sleep and duration of labor took its toll. According to Mark, as soon as the medicine was injected into me I literally fell asleep in his arms and stayed that way for the next few hours.
When I woke up, much to my delight, I was greeted with the news that one of my favorite OB's from the office was now the attending physician! She let me dilate up to 9 centimeters before starting some pitocin to get me up to 10 a little more quickly. Around 10:30 they had me prepped and I began to push. And I pushed for an hour with a little bit of success. Unfortunately it was like I took two steps forward and one step back. With every round of pushing, as soon as I relaxed she moved back inside a little bit. So my OB instructed me to maintain pressure even in between pushes. At that point, Molly's heartrate had accellerated, indicating she was becoming stressed from the labor. And I, with my asthma, was given supplemental oxygen in between pushes because I was getting so fatigued. My OB, who has incredible bedside manner, basically told me she would allow me labor for another hour before taking me to the OR for a c-section. She also offered to help Molly and me out with forceps since Molly was positioned sideways, a very difficult position to deliver naturally. Both of these factors, my asthma and her position were taking its toll very quickly.
I heard the word "c-section" and immediately became indignant. I desperately wanted to have her vaginally and this frustrated me to the point where I wouldn't accept it. Mom and Alicia, who were the more vocal cheerleaders through my labor, held each of my legs and counted through pushes for me. Mark was up near my head and never said a word, my silent support. He held my arms, brushed my hair and gave me my oxygen mask when I needed it. They were all incredible! My doctor brought out the forceps for my last 2-3 rounds of pushing and I finally delivered her at 11:50 am on Tuesday, December 17th.
We didn't know Baby was a girl until she was out of me and the excitement in the room was unforgettable. I immediately burst into tears as soon as I heard her cry, still amazed that we actually made it through. Alicia was crying and my mom was calling my Dad, while Mark and I watched the nurses clean Molly and check her vitals. In the meantime, my OB was hard at work "fixing" me. To pseudo quote, she took a look at me after Molly was out and said, "Girl, where do I begin!" I had a 3rd degree tear from the forceps which she warned us about beforehand. They were safe for Molly but would probably cause some damage to me.
After I was stitched up and had some water (I had been thirsty for hours!) Mark picked up our daughter out of the warmer and brought her to me. We hadn't been given a good chance to meet her right after she came out because of the stressfulness of my labor. Since she had a fever they were anxious to get her back to the nursery and have her vitals checked a little better. The feeling of looking at and holding my little girl for the very first time was indescribable. I will never forget it!
A few hours later Molly was doing much better and joined me in our post partum room. After the first night, Molly was given the OK for discharge. However, my doctor was still a little concerned about my "battle scars" as I like to call them. So we were kept for an additional night. My nurses, especially my night nurse, were wonderful and very attentive to both Molly and me. I actually miss them now since we became so used to seeing them every few hours!
We are now home and Molly is experiencing the new life she has here with us. Petey and Lucy have been fantastic, only showing a little bit of jealousy the first night home! The experience has been bittersweet however. Mark's grandmother in Minnesota had been in hospice for about a week and passed away literally hours after she was told that Molly was born. He left for the midwest late Friday evening after we had been discharged from the hospital. And he'll be back late tonight, Sunday. My mom has stayed with me as an invaluable helper for Molly and me. She's been keeping the house, preparing meals (when we haven't had one brought to us) and fitting in cuddles with Molly. I'm a little sad that the pregnancy has come to an end, but I'm even more excited to get to know this precious little girl. In the meantime, I'm going to try to fit in a nap before Molly wakes up. There you have the story of how Molly Nicole Ogren came into the world!

Here at the end...

2008-12-13T06:37:00.000-08:00

My due date has come and gone. On Thursday, Baby Ogren and I reached 40 weeks making it a complete and healthy pregnancy! So far, Baby is behaving like I did with my mom. She had to be induced because they let her go to almost 42 weeks with her pregnancy. Times have changed in 27 years and my OB will only allow Baby to stay put until next week. If Baby does not decide to take the initiative I will be going to the hospital on Wednesday night to be induced. I'm hoping that if it comes to that, they will give me the Cytotec, keep me for a few hours and then let me go home to labor as much as possible back there.
I have been feeling Braxton Hicks, especially since last weekend. Everything that my body is supposed to be doing it has been, according to what I've read and have experienced with my girlfriends who have kids. I won't go into any major detail for the sake of any gentleman readers :0). At my check up yesterday morning, I was a little over a centimeter dilated which isn't much of a change from the previous week.
Without having homework or necessary practicing to do for classes and ensembles, I've had a chance to just relax and enjoy my family this week. And I'm extremely grateful! Petey and Lucy have especially enjoyed the long, lazy cuddles on the sofa with me each morning. Yesterday I had Lucy snuggled up to me on my left and Petey on my right with Baby Ogren sandwiched in between!
I'm having a melting pot of emotions and thoughts as I reflect on the past 9 months and what is about to happen. I really have enjoyed being pregnant so much! I'll never forget the excitement and joy I had when I felt Baby move for the first time. I think I looked forward to that part more than anything. Just this morning I stayed in bed for a few minutes just watching the good morning flutters and kicks Baby had for me. I'm going to miss that so much! I have no doubts that we'll have more children, however my opportunities of feeling this Baby inside of me are coming to an end. I'm hopeful that Baby and my body will get it into gear and begin labor without intervention. I know it will be so much easier on Baby and me that way. Plus, as much as I'd love to continue the experience of having Baby inside of me, their time for safe development in the womb is also coming to an end. As my mom likes to put it, "the open buffet is closing!"
Since we've already made the announcement in person to family and friends I wanted to announce the names we have chosen if Baby is a boy or a girl. Our boy's name is Zachary Alexander (in honor of Mark's two best friends) and our girl's name is Molly Nicole (in honor of my Frances). Pretty soon we will know whether a Molly or Zachary has been growing inside of me!

Have Jeep...ought to have recovery service...

2008-12-10T14:15:00.001-08:00

When asked years down the road how I spent my last trimester of my first pregnancy I'll have some pretty interesting tales to tell! Two days after Thanksgiving my dad graciously offered to help me get a Christmas tree at a local tree farm. Since I don't know when Baby is planning on arriving I wanted to get the decorating taken care of ahead of time. Anyway, after finding a tree we liked, we cut it, paid for it and put it in the back of my Dad's truck. When he tried to pull out it was pretty obvious we were stuck in the muddy grass from all the rain that had fallen that morning. The owner of the farm tried his best to get us unstuck. A tractor with a chain, his own pickup truck... After a snapped chain and even more mud than we started with his wife offered to call a tow-truck. I told them I could get my mom to bring my Jeep with 4WD and a winch instead of paying for a recovery service. She got it out there and after slapping on my galoshes (conveniently located in the back) I winched my Dad out of the mud 9 months pregnant and all!
Today, I was spending some time with a friend at their brand new house while she painted the kitchen. Her step dad decided to drop by for a visit and tried to pull up into the front of their newly sodded lawn. The Red Cross van he was driving (he's a volunteer) also became quite stuck. At first he tried to get my friend to steer the wheel as he pushed on it. When that didn't work he turned around to me and asked, "Got your winch?" So once again I brought out the gear and pulled him out! Only this time there was pavement involved...
What's the most entertaining is that Mark and I hardly ever use this winch; usually just when we're off-roading or camping somewhere. And in the past three weeks I have used it twice quite pregnant at the same time! If that hasn't sent me into labor I don't know what will! :0) Wish I had the camera to take pictures...
As of Monday, I officially finished my fall semester obligations. The only thing I had to take an incomplete on, through no fault of my own, was my music therapy NICU clinical. We had a tough time getting up to the nursery because of a hospital management switch. So we'll definitely get it finished by midterm of the spring. As one of my classmates coined it, "Baby lost the race against school!" This whole week I've been trying to take advantage of every opportunity to rest and relax. But I haven't been a hermit either! I know that because it is cold and flu season, Baby and I will pretty much be confined to the house for the majority of the holiday break.
So as of right now, Baby Ogren is still growing and developing inside of mommy for the time being. I'm very much at peace about the whole experience and I'm patiently waiting to meet this precious little baby very soon!

Counting the blessings

2008-11-27T05:17:00.000-08:00

Today is Thanksgiving. Baby and I have officially made it up to 38 weeks of this pregnancy! Some professional disciplines would claim that we reached the full term point last week at 37. However, I wanted to focus on this week with so many others around the country reflecting on things to be thankful for.
This pregnancy has been truly blessed. I've been thinking about the past 9 months or so and just how many things have happened around me that make me even more thankful that Baby and I are safe and sound!

In early August, one of my friend's coworkers (who was 1 week behind me in her pregnancy) went into labor early with her baby at 22 weeks gestation. The baby has survived his unexpected entry to the world however he is still at MUSC on supplemental oxygen.
Just last month, one of our CSU employee's daughters (only 2 weeks behind me in her pregnancy) went into labor early as well. Her son was born around 32 weeks gestation. As far as I know he is doing fine and is out of the hospital at this point.
CSU has had some intense episodes with crime this school year. There have been two gunman and an armed robbery just in the course of the Fall semester resulting on campus-wide lockdowns. One of the incidents happened just after I had left campus one evening. Our percussion ensemble rehearsal had ended early. Amen!
At the end of October/beginning of November, the CSU campus became ransacked with some kind of cold/flu virus that hit every single student and professor. Though I tried my absolute best to keep the sicklies at arms length, I ended up with two rounds of bronchitis and the flu. I was miserable for about a month, limited to just a few medications that were safe for Baby and trekking along with my degree at the same time. I'm now healed for the most part and Baby has been a trooper the entire way! We had an Non-Stress Test after my second bout with bronchitis and Spud was completely unaffected.
Another couple that we are very close to found out at the beginning of November that they were expecting and would be due in July. Just last week she had a miscarriage. It was heartbreaking for all who were and still are involved.

I'm thankful that I have been able to keep up with my assignments and performances this semester. Many of my friends and family were a little skeptical of my plans to continue on with my degree. One more semester and an internship and that music therapy board certification is mine!
I'm thankful for my family. I've really enjoyed being pregnant and experiencing the miracle of life growing inside of me! In a way I'm kind of sad that it is ending soon. But those feelings of sadness are most definitely overshadowed by the idea of meeting this beautiful child God has blessed us with! Without a doubt, this will be a holiday for my family and me like no other!

Needing a spoonful of sugar...

2008-11-16T11:56:00.000-08:00

Almost every year I have taken the opportunity to get a flu shot because of my asthma. And I don't remember ever having a bad reaction. This year it was doubly important with the pregnancy. So, on Wednesday morning after my OB/GYN appointment I got a vaccine at the Navy Hospital. Thursday morning, I wasn't feeling so great. After both of my afternoon classes, my band director sent me home instead of staying for marching rehearsal to get some rest. I planned on attending my classes the following morning. When my alarm woke me up at 6:30, after I had been tossing and turning all night from body aches, I knew it wasn't going to happen.
Mark, fortunately, was on his four day weekend from work and was able to take me to the doctor. They ran a test just to rule out the possibility of the flu and it came back positive that I did have it. The doctor was unable to tell if it was from the vaccine or if I had come into contact with someone who had it. She prescribed me the safest medications possible for Baby Ogren's sake. And very slowly, but surely, I've been improving over the past day or two. Nevertheless, I've been a pretty miserable mommy-to-be this weekend. My sleep has been horrible. If I'm not achy all over then I can't seem to catch a deep breath with my asthmatic lungs.
The good news is I no longer have a fever and I have had Mark to take care of me pretty much 24/7. My Charleston Mom, who will be known as "Oma" to Baby brought me some homemade chicken soup and "Gran" will be coming to the rescue tomorrow evening, when Mark has to return to work, to help me out this week. The bad news is I missed some pretty important class time on Friday. And I wasn't able to be with the marching band at our last home game performance. Which was really frustrating and disappointing. They'll be traveling to Coastal Carolina for the final football game this coming weekend. If I wasn't planning on going before, it is definitely out of the question for me now.
In the meantime I've made significant progress on several class assignments, having been restricted to the sofa, and I think I'm pretty prepared for the week. All of my flute performances, with the exception of my jury, are done so I need not be concerned with that. Right now I'm just trying to get better as quickly as possible. The last thing Baby Ogren needs upon entering the world next month is a sick mommy!

"All my bags are packed. I'm ready to go..."

2008-11-02T17:01:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a pretty long day for me. CSU had their homecoming football game which involved a little more energy output from everyone. I don't think I overdid it but I was definitely tired by the time I got home. So today I took advantage of using the time I had at home to rest and relax. I also decided it was about time to get my hospital bag somewhat ready to go since we technically have only 5 1/2 weeks left to go of the pregnancy! It's much easier to type that last sentence then to actually believe it! As I was packing I tried to think of everything I could that might come in handy that I can go ahead and have inside. So far for myself I've included:

Three sets of pajamas
Slipper socks
Flip flops
Underwear
Nursing gear: bra, lanolin, shawl and pads
Hair clips/holders

For baby I've put in:

Four onesies
Two hats
Receiving blanket

Other items like my Boppy pillow, music & CD player, asthma medication and toiletries are on the list to be packed whenever the time comes. I'll also be toting my very cozy body pillow so that I don't have to keep pestering the nurses for extras! And this weekend I'll hopefully have a chance to pick out a "going home" outfit for Baby while my parents are in town for a visit. I just know Mom a.k.a. Gran would love to be included! And yes, I'll probably pick out one for a boy and one for a girl. If anyone has any suggestions for items that I haven't included so far I'd love some input! The last thing I need to be wondering about when the day arrives is whether or not I've included everything Baby and I need!

Musical Costume

2008-11-01T16:50:00.000-07:00

So, I wanted to take full advantage of the fact that I have a very pregnant belly this year for Halloween. I'm not crazy about the traditions of Halloween in general. However, I do like coming up with fun and creative costumes to try each year. Mark and I will have to decide how we handle the trick-or-treating situation when Baby gets older but for now I decided that Baby had to be something this year.
I went online looking for maternity costume ideas. And I came up with pretty typical results: a pumpkin, fish bowl, basketball, jack-o-lantern, etc... But none of those really caught my interest. I really wanted to do something fun and original. So I thought to myself, what else is round in shape that might be good for a costume? A music note!
So, I went to a local fabric store, picked up some black flannel fabric and a white long-sleeved shirt. And this past week, I cut out the note shape and tacked it on. It was a major hit! Especially since I spend most of my days at school with fellow music geeks.

Humbled

2008-10-16T17:45:00.000-07:00

My mom hosted another baby shower for me this past weekend in Charlotte. Mark and I took the opportunity to go visit them for a long weekend since we both had Monday off from work and classes.
I just couldn't believe the response we received from people who wanted to come and support Baby and me. There were a few ladies there that I knew relatively well. Some were old and dear friends that I hadn't seen for quite some time! But the majority were those who knew my mom somehow and were ready and willing to shower me with gifts! It was extremely humbling to have so many people there that contributed so much towards this new adventure for our family. And I'm deeply appreciative! When my mom wanted to take a picture of me with my gifts I decided to surround myself (and Baby) with all the love!

Having fun and saving money!

2008-09-22T18:13:00.000-07:00

A few months ago when I registered for nursery gifts I made a mental note to include a Boppy pillow. I had seen several of my girlfriends use them, especially for nursing their babies and I knew that it would come in handy. However, when I got to the store I looked at the prices and was pretty shocked. There was one available without a fancy cover for much cheaper than the others. So I decided there must be a pattern for a Boppy pillow cover somewhere out there. And I registered for the plain one in the hopes of finding what I needed to make my own cover(s).

As I had hoped, there was a pattern that I found online. I printed out the pattern pieces and instructions before I went to the store to find fabric. After picking out 3-4 different flannel and cotton fabrics I was thoroughly pleased to discover that for the price of one name-brand Boppy cover I could easily make at least 3 of my own--and in colors and patterns that I liked better anyway! I finished making one on Saturday and hope to finish the other 3 sometime during this week. With my mom's (a.k.a.) Gran's generous help of purchasing the pillow itself I was able to do a fitting test. Here's the final product of my first cover:

I saw the Mickey Mouse flannel and just couldn't resist. My other fabrics consist of music notes, a sage stripe pattern and a dark green color with white snowmen. (since we're having baby right before Christmas) I'm looking forward to having them all done...and possibly making even more after that!

Trimester #3!!

2008-09-14T11:33:00.000-07:00

It's certainly harder to believe than I thought it would be. As of last Thursday, Baby Ogren and I reached 27 weeks, bringing us into the third and final trimester of our adventure together! So far I've been told over and over again that I'm still not all that big for as far along as I am. But I'm sure that won't be the case for whenever we provide a sibling in the future! I became inspired this morning to post about some firsts and lasts (some not so pleasant) that I've experienced over the past six months. So without further ado:
Firsts:

Heart burn (unfortunately for the first time on a charter bus to Miami)
Liking and having a preference for pickles on my sandwiches
Confrontation with a total stranger in defense of my unborn child.
Referencing myself in conversations as a "mom."

Lasts:

Final band road trip to Miami, FL
Much to the probable delight of my mother, the removal of my belly button ring that I've had since I was 18 years old. Moment of silence please...
Last getaway trip before introducing another member of the family.

Those are all I can think of for now. Alas, the time has come to get back to my homework. I'm looking forward to cherishing the next few months as Baby and I become ever closer to meeting each other in December!

Sesame Street Babies

2008-09-07T11:44:00.000-07:00

All I've pretty much done today is homework and studying. So I needed a brain break! When I went to Youtube I was inspired to find silly videos from Sesame Street. And a baby theme was much too tempting!

Mommy Courage

2008-08-23T05:42:00.000-07:00

I must be developing some kind of mommy courage now that I'm expecting. I had an experience earlier this week that brought out a side of me I have never revealed up until now!
On Tuesday evening I was standing out in the parking lot talking to my friend Brad. We were actually trying to decide where to meet up with some other friends for dinner, not having much success. There is a football player on campus with this enormous red pickup truck. And he greeted the CSU campus this semester with the installation of some kind of fog/train horn that he likes to show off quite frequently. This horn is so loud you can hear it where ever you are, inside or out. Well, he just happened to be rolling through the parking lot while Brad and I were chatting. Unaware to the both of us, the guy intentionally slowed down as he got close to us and right after he was positioned directly behind me he set off the horn. I have to say I have never been so startled or initially frightened like that ever before in my life! However, my delayed reaction was not humor like the guy probably intended.
I got into my Jeep and followed the guy back to wherever he had decided to park. As he was getting out, I stepped out of my Jeep. I asked him, "Is that your pickup?" He replied with a grin, "Yup!" Mustering my strength I retorted, "You need to be a little more careful who you mess around with that horn of yours. I am 24 weeks pregnant." His face turned white. I continued, "If you had done this later on in the semester, you may very well have been taking me across the road to Trident Hospital in your big red truck!" He gave me an apology. But I made sure he had at least an idea of just how mad I was!
In that moment all I could think about was the well being of myself and for Baby. I'm usually a very non-confrontational person. But this infuriated me so much I needed to deal with it in some way. Since I definitely didn't want it happening again, I decided to make the owner of the deafening horn aware of my situation! And you know what? I haven't heard the horn blaring on campus ever since.
Here's a tribute to the Cowardly Lion in honor of the occasion :0)

Week 23!

2008-08-18T04:52:00.000-07:00

I had my 2nd ultrasound last week! And everything went beautifully! Baby Ogren is chugging right along growing and developing inside of me. I wanted to share my favorite pictures from the appointment!

Here baby is sucking on the fingers. Just like Mommy used to do!

I can't help but wonder all the places these feet will take baby someday!

And my absolute favorite, a glimpse of baby's face! Hello world!

It has never ceased to amaze me, the miracle of life that God has provided. I've watched my friends and family have children and I'm in awe of the incredible power that is the creation of life. It makes the experience even more amazing now that one of His plans is being created inside of me! We start classes again this week. And although it is bittersweet (my relaxing summer holiday is no more), I'm ready and excited to take care of another semester that I have left on my journey to a music therapy degree! The end of the semester should be interesting since I'm term on Thanksgiving Day. But I am confident about anything it would be that God certainly has His own timing! I am well taken care of and it will all work according to His plan. I'm here to do my best, trust in Him and enjoy the ride!

Adventures with Petey Beast

2008-08-10T17:04:00.001-07:00

The Lord must be preparing me for parenthood when it comes to my animal children. To give you a little bit of background my American Bulldog, Petey, went to the vet to have a dental done last Monday. I opted for him to have an IV so they could administer fluids throughout the procedure just in case something went wrong. Well, he's been messing with the area on his arm for days now not letting it completely heal. So I put his E-Collar on from a prior accident that occured a few years ago to prevent him from accessing the spot. Well, he was playing in the living room this evening and I began to see red spots all over the carpet. Thinking his gums might be messed up I took a look in his mouth to see if he was bleeding there. Nothing. So I checked his paws. Petey, in all his resourcefulness, had sliced open one of the pads of his left paw with the edge of the E-collar. My wrecking ball of a dog injured himself with a device meant to prevent him from doing any harm. I don't know how he does it!
I called several people (my best friend Alicia who is a vet technician was the first call!) including my parents. And my dad commented that my children will have all sorts of adventures in store for me as they get older as well! What began initially as quick remedy to a temporary problem has now become Petey's sentence for the week. He is not rid of the E-collar by any means. It is now preventing him from accessing the gauze and bandage that are wrapped around his paw. And will probably have to stay that way for at least a week. Let's just pray he doesn't do the same to his other legs!

A blast from the past

2008-08-07T11:08:00.000-07:00

Mark left for a trip to Nebraska early this morning. And after I got home and slept a little longer I pretty much sat at the computer wasting time until I heard that he had arrived safely in Denver. Ergo I discovered a recording of the Wizard of Oz performed by Bobby McFerrin that my dad had a version of on a cassette tape when I was little. We used to listen to this all the time and I had a ball hearing it again! This man is amazingly talented. If you've ever heard the song, "Don't Worry Be Happy," then you know exactly who it is!

The Wizard Of Oz - Bobby McFerrin

Muppet Fun

2008-08-03T18:07:00.001-07:00

What happens when you have no obligations but to rest and relax at home? The discovery of very funny and silly videos:

Muppets Habanera:

Muppets Danny Boy:

Weekend Hideaway

2008-07-27T16:17:00.001-07:00

Without further ado, Mark and I spent a most relaxing weekend at a bed and breakfast in Clinton, SC: The Farmhouse Bed & Breakfast at Bush River Farm. It was no accident that Mark happened to stumble upon their website while we were deciding on possible locations last week. We were trying to find a place relatively close, only two to three hours away, that was appealing and hopefully somewhere we'd never been before. As the website describes, it is an Irish farmhouse offering three available rooms to stay in. We reserved the Alisa Room (which was the only one available for the weekend) where we enjoyed several perks like the private patio overlooking the rest of the property. We made special friends with the barnyard kitty, who apparently didn't go by any other name. She figured out which room Mark and I were staying in and would wait outside the patio doors for us to come play and love on her. We affectionately named her F.C. for Friend Cat! It also had a gorgeous four poster queen bed that was a little on the tall side. Fortunately they provided a step stool for vertically challenged people like myself! There was also a game room down in the basement with darts and a pool table. Upstairs we enjoyed a separate room to watch TV and movies, as well as a mini fridge complete with snacks, juices, water, beer and wine.
Most importantly, there was no agenda other than the amazing breakfasts our hosts served to us in the mornings. And for that they even asked what time worked best for us! After breakfast on Saturday we took the day as it came, relaxing with each other, taking walks around the farm (to visit their Alpacas and Goats!) The purpose of our trip was to escape all the demands and priorities distracting us from each other and to celebrate six years of marriage. And we did just that! It was a welcome opportunity to spend time with each other especially with Baby's arrival in December. And we made sure to let the hosts know that we're going to try our best to make it up there one more time before the holiday season rolls around. I'm so thankful that Mark found this place and that we had the gift of a whole weekend to simply relax and hide from the rest of our responsibilities. Many thanks to Josh and Haley for animal-sitting Petey and Lucy for us! We've had their puppy, Belle, over several times to visit our house while they have gone out-of-town. So it was a welcome change of scenery for our animal children as well!
Now it's on to the final week of summer II classes. And after that, there's a baby shower to enjoy on Saturday! So much to look forward to...

Halfway there...again...

2008-07-24T19:07:00.001-07:00

To clarify this post's title, I vaguely remember a post that I made back in December after the Fall 2007 semester. And I remembered that it was titled, "Halfway there..." So of course I had to incorporate that chapter of my life with the new one that I am experiencing now!
In case you don't feel like journeying into Danae's past, the focus of my blog at that point in time was achieving the halfway mark in my endeavor to become a music therapist. Today's halfway point is focused on the arrival of Baby Ogren in December! Today, I am officially 20 weeks along in my pregnancy.
In December I mentioned how I had been "faced with several challenges that helped me to grow as an adult and as a Christ follower." I still whole heartedly believe that I learned some valuable life lessons through a number of experiences that crossed my path last school year. And the following statement, "I'm confident that they have equipped me for what I know will face me in the future," I think most definitely applies to how life has turned out so far! Little did I know then, that a year later Mark and I would be bringing another life into the world! Just as I typed that last sentence, Baby signaled an approval with a little flutter! Though I certainly didn't have raising a child in mind when I created the other post, I feel like I can still apply it to the rewards and challenges that I know for certain are headed in my direction!
Complete and total change of subject. Mark and I are taking a long overdue escape this weekend. We found a bed and breakfast just a couple of hours away where we'll be spending Friday and Saturday night. It is a very much welcome opportunity to disengage with all of the stress and hectic life around us; and in turn use the time to rest, relax and focus on each other and our marriage. The timing is further appropriate in that our 6th Anniversary is on Monday the 28th! We've been looking forward to it for a while! You'll find out where we went when we get back. We like the whole idea of a secret getaway at this point!
That's all for now. I'm going to raid the jar of pickles in the refrigerator...

"On the Move"

2008-07-17T13:35:00.000-07:00

Thanks to mom for the idea for this post title! All my fellow Narnia fans should find the humor. A few nights ago I had just crawled underneath the covers and turned off the lamp. All of the sudden I began to feel these flickering motions coming from right behind and above my belly button. I thought I had kind of felt them before sitting in class, but these were definite movements. So my only logical conclusion is that I can now feel Baby Ogren moving inside of me! Since then I've noticed it the most after I've eaten. (big surprise) My kid likes food! For months I wondered what this would be like. My girlfriends who have children have told me about their experiences over and over. But it really can't be described it in words. Now I'm sure what I looked forward to for so long will most definitely become even more fun to deal with as time goes on. I'm just picturing trying to go to sleep and Spud deciding that it's time for baby gymnastics! Just wanted to share with everyone that Baby Ogren is "on the move!"

A chance at redemption!

2008-07-15T19:31:00.001-07:00

In an effort to make life a little easier and less complicated, I had an idea last week that would give Target a chance to redeem itself with this nursery furniture drama. (To give you some background, the changing table color that we want is still not available at Babycenter.com) As I was getting ready for school I thought to myself, "Hey. The store has a display of the crib and changing table on the shelf. The crib is miniaturized/half-sized, but the changing table is full sized. Now, if it isn't available for purchase through the store anymore, then they'll certainly have to take it down. If they have to take it down then why not just make some money and sell the changing table to me!" It was the exact color that we wanted.
So, Alicia and I made our way to the store after my OB appointment Friday morning. We proudly marched to the nursery section and asked for some help. I told the employee my idea and he went back into storage to present the situation to his manager. After a few minutes he returned with the news that it was against store policy to sell anything on display. Dumbfounded we stood there a few moments until Alicia asked, "Well, what are you going to do with it when you take it down?" He replied, "I dunno. Probably throw it away." The whole time I was thinking you have got to be kidding me. I pressed the idea further and asked if it was a franchise-wide policy to not sell displays. And of course it was. Pretty irritated we gave up and went on our way.
Target had brilliantly failed at redemption!
I could understand the store's position since I used to work at a grocery store bakery. We were not allowed to donate the food we removed from the displays once their shelve-life had expired. As silly as throwing away all that food was, the store could not risk the liability of food poisoning, etc... just in case something like that happened. Target probably could not sell me the display since it was already put together and had been sitting on the shelf for goodness knows how long. It may have posed a liable risk to them should the baby become injured from (possible) poor assembly.
It was an unfortunate ending to what I had hoped was a brilliant solution. I guess I could always set up a tent behind the building and wait for the furniture to be thrown into the dumpster...

The Fine Fursery Nurniture

2008-07-02T05:52:00.000-07:00

As requested (by Erin) here are pictures of the furniture that we ordered. The dresser isn't the same manufacturer but it still works nicely with the other two pieces! The crib and changing table are the Graco Lauren model. And the dresser is a Roxanne 4-Drawer. We chose all of them in the espresso color.

Adventures in Nursery Furniture Shopping

2008-07-01T10:58:00.001-07:00

Time to vent... One rather large step we have been busy with this week, in our journey to parenthood, is the shopping for and purchasing of furniture for the nursery. Neither Mark or myself am fond of shopping in the first place. So we made our best effort to make the experience as brief and financially painless as possible!
We initially began with a huge monetary boost! My parents graciously made a donation to the furniture fund. And I also brought home a significant paycheck from working CSU's Music Therapy Camp last week. With the two combined we had quite a bit to start with! Even though I am registered at Babies 'R Us for my baby shower, the furniture prices at that particular store are outrageously expensive. The difference wasn't all that much at other places like Baby Depot and JC Penny. So we knew we had some investigating to do if we were going to find decent prices for good, quality cribs and dressers.
Friday night we went to a movie but decided to take a quick trip to Target and see what they had to offer. They had an arrangement of partial cribs and changing tables for the display. In other words, the displays were not full sized, I guess so they could have enough room to fit them all. There were information cards for each piece with the item description and SKU. All you simply had to do was take the card to customer service and they could either retrieve it from storage or order it to be delivered. We did find one set that we both immediately loved and was definitely in our price range. So we made a plan.
Monday afternoon after my morning class we went back to Target and brought the information cards to the service desk. The lady working behind the counter typed in the SKU and proceeded to tell us that there were not any in stock at that location nor any other stores in the area. She continued further that the item was not recognized in the system for ordering and had probably been put on clearance a while back. Long story short, they displayed a product that was not available for purchase through Target. We're normally both very patient people, but this was so frustrating we just became angry. It's one thing to not have something on hand in a store and require extra time for shipping and handling. It's an entirely different thing to neglect a display that is clearly out dated and no longer available to customers.
We tried a few other places like Sears and consignment shops. But no one had what we were looking for or met our price range. At home we looked online at other places, but we were met with the same problems. The furniture was a good price but very cheaply made. The furniture was well made but much too expensive.
I was at the Commissary this morning when my friend Alicia called. I told her of our frustrating experience and, being the brilliant person that she is, went to Ebay and typed in the model that we liked from Target. She discovered that it was available at Babycenter.com. Not only was it available, it was for a lower price and came with free shipping! As soon as I got home (and ate lunch) I checked it out for myself. The crib color that we wanted was in stock, but the changing table was backordered indefinitely. However, I found a dresser that worked well with the whole set. And just a few minutes ago I ordered the crib and dresser with an email pending notification for when the changing table becomes available in the color we want!
And the storal of the mory is: If you are traving houble finding fursery nurniture, fall a criend and they just may have the serfect polution! (that was for you Dad!)

Vocabulary Donations!

2008-06-29T05:09:00.000-07:00

My Frances :0) sent me a link to this website called FreeRice. It is a donation site, that is definitely legit, donating rice to the UN World Food Program. But the catch is you have to answer vocabulary questions. It provides you with a word and four other possible meanings/matches to choose from. So, it is a scholastic challenge that helps benefit those who are less fortunate! Anyway, if you get bored one day and want to check it out, here is a link for you!

The Princess and the Pea

2008-06-18T18:47:00.000-07:00

This just happened about 10 minutes ago and it was too funny for me not to post about it. For the longest time I have grown accustomed to falling asleep to the sound of a fan. Be it a small table fan or even a ceiling fan, I have habituated to the presence of the white noise that it creates. And yes, I know it used to drive my sisters up the wall! Anyway, I now have a small fan that sits on my bedside table and faithfully lulls me to sleep every night. Mark has lightly complained a few times, especially early in our marriage, that this bedtime routine was a little loud and obnoxious. But I think even he has gotten used to it now. He even admitted to turning the fan on when I was out of town a few years ago!
Anyway, getting on with the story. You now know about the fan and my preference for it for sleeping. Just recently Mark decided to get an air purifier for the house with the original intention of putting it in the living room. But it ended up in our bedroom instead. And up until a few weeks ago it was doing its job and I had no complaints. In fact I could tell a difference in the air quality, especially when I woke up! However, it started making this crackling sound like it needed to be cleaned. I did what I could to clean it but could not get rid of the cracking. I told Mark about it but we forgot about the problem until last night. He gave it a good cleaning before getting into bed and and turned it back on. We went to sleep.
In the middle of the night I heard the sound again. Thinking it was one of my dogs getting into something I fussed at them and told them to go back to bed. Went back to sleep. It happened again a few hours later so I sat up ready to let Petey or Lucy have a piece of my mind. But then discovered them to be curled up in their beds not doing anything wrong. I listened some more and sure enough it was the air purifier. In the meantime, my fan had been going ever since we crawled into bed. But the crackling and popping still woke me up. So I got up and turned the purifier off.
In the morning, Mark got up before me and after getting ready for work, he must have noticed it was turned off. So he switched it on again. The popping began again right after he left the house. And I got up and switched it off again. After he got home this evening he asked me why I kept turning the purifier off. I told him about the sound, he looked at me like I was full of it and thoroughly cleaned the blades a second time. However I would not budge about this not being a solution to the problem. I told him that it would start crackling again and I would point it out as soon as it happened again.
Low and behold, the sound came back. Mark was reading a book on the sofa and I told him to come into the bedroom so he could hear it for himself. He stood there for a few seconds listening to what I had described and gave me a look like I had thoroughly and completely lost my mind. To quote him exactly, "Are you serious? You heard that tiny little sound over the roar from your fan?!" I stood there grinning at him sheepishly. He then, turned to leave the bedroom muttering, "I'm going to put a pea under your side of the mattress."
I'm dropping the issue.

Milestones

2008-06-15T15:16:00.000-07:00

Like any typical mom-to-be I'm coming up with projects and tasks that ought to be completed, or at least started, by the time baby joins us this Christmas. I have mostly registered at Babies 'R Us and Baby Depot with essentials (along with some fun stuff too!) for family and friends to sort through. Thanks to the invaluable help from my mom this weekend, my musical sewing room made the next transitional step into a nursery. She bought some plastic storage bins and brought their pickup truck down from Charlotte to move furniture. I finished packing up most of my collectibles and memories to be placed in the attic, or elsewhere, and the only items that remain in the room are my sewing desk and my great-grandmother's sewing machine table. The desk will stay in the corner that is still mine (the rest of the room now belongs to baby) and the table may have to be moved to another part of the house.
While in the midst of moving things out and into storage I suddenly felt an overwhelming surge of change come over me. I sat in the middle of the room and came the mental realization that in just 6 months or so Mark and I will be responsible for another life coming into the world. It was therapeutic for me to pack away and box up all of the items I had collected as a child and younger adult--things that I don't necessarily need to access on a daily basis. But it is almost as if I am literally saying goodbye to a piece of my childhood that cannot remain now that I have a child of my own. If there is anything that my family and friends would say about me is that I do have a childlike nature. I already have a huge heart for children and have spent my college education learning how to use my talent for music to interact with and help them. And goodness knows I love to play and be silly as often and appropriate as possible! My favorite vacation spot is Disney World if you aren't convinced yet.
But with the life change that I am experiencing now I am picturing my life like a book or series of chronicles outlining each step along the way. Bringing a child into the world seems to be like my ending one chapter or book and moving on to the next. It brought tears to my eyes as I realized the responsibility that God is now placing in our hands. This child we'll have in December does not in fact belong to us, but to the Lord. And He has decided to entrust us with the task of raising it.
I pray in earnest, every moment it comes to mind, that we will do our absolute best to bring this child up in the Lord in a way that will be pleasing to Him. Its no surprise that we will make mistakes, and probably lots of them. But that with anything we set ourselves up to do, that we try our best and nothing less. As daunting as the challenge may seem, we have waited a while to establish our relationship as husband and wife. Though we learn things about each other every day we have had the time to be just a couple. It is a wonderful time to add to the Ogren family. And I am looking forward to meeting baby in the not so distant future!

Nursery Ideas

2008-06-01T18:28:00.000-07:00

I decided a long time ago that whenever I had children that I would decorate their nursery with a Wynken, Blynken and Nod theme. I've posted the poem itself below if you are not familiar with it. I'm using several ideas out of the specific book that my Dad used to read to us all the time when we were little. However, if you have the time, take a look at the words. And if you have any ideas as to decorations or additions to the nursery they would be most welcome! At any rate, I hope you enjoy the poem. I've treasured it for a long time!

Wynken, Blynken, and Nod one night
Sailed off in a wooden shoe---
Sailed on a river of crystal light,
Into a sea of dew.
"Where are you going, and what do you wish?"
The old moon asked the three.
"We have come to fish for the herring fish
That live in this beautiful sea;
Nets of silver and gold have we!"
Said Wynken,
Blynken,
And Nod.

The old moon laughed and sang a song,
As they rocked in the wooden shoe,
And the wind that sped them all night long
Ruffled the waves of dew.
The little stars were the herring fish
That lived in that beautiful sea---
"Now cast your nets wherever you wish---
Never afeard are we";
So cried the stars to the fishermen three:
Wynken,
Blynken,
And Nod.

All night long their nets they threw
To the stars in the twinkling foam---
Then down from the skies came the wooden shoe,
Bringing the fishermen home;
'T was all so pretty a sail it seemed
As if it could not be,
And some folks thought 't was a dream they 'd dreamed
Of sailing that beautiful sea---
But I shall name you the fishermen three:
Wynken,
Blynken,
And Nod.

Wynken and Blynken are two little eyes,
And Nod is a little head,
And the wooden shoe that sailed the skies
Is a wee one's trundle-bed.
So shut your eyes while mother sings
Of wonderful sights that be,
And you shall see the beautiful things
As you rock in the misty sea,
Where the old shoe rocked the fishermen three:
Wynken,
Blynken,
And Nod.

Visit #2

2008-05-28T12:19:00.000-07:00

I guess you could say I'm your typical first-time-mom, rejoicing over every milestone that the "Spud" and I reach! I had my second prenatal visit this afternoon. According to my mom, the first time they tried to find my heartbeat, I put up a chase and made it difficult to locate where exactly I was. Well, the Spud was no different, taking after its mom. Although we've already heard the heartbeat once at the ultrasound a few weeks ago it was still a little nerve wracking as I lay on the table. She searched a good two minutes before she finally cornered the little sneak. Everything sounded exactly as it should, around the 150's, quite a fluctuation from 182 on the 15th! It was just as amazing as the first time to further come to the realization that there is a miraculous gift from God that is growing inside of me! I won't have to go back in until 17-18 weeks at the beginning of July, unless there is a problem of course.
On a pleasant (or unpleasant) note, however you want to look at it, Mark is finally having surgery on his gallbladder Friday afternoon. We've made 5 trips to the emergency room in the past 2 1/2 years because of the pain it has caused him. This past ER visit the doctor finally ordered him to get a HIDA Scan, which determines the functioning of the gall bladder, to find out whether or not it had to be removed. He'll not have this pain anymore. But they've warned him that he'll be pretty miserable for a couple of weeks especially the first 2/3 days. To make it even more interesting he's not able to lift anything over 20 pounds for an entire month. Which makes setting up the nursery a little tricky. Bring on the indentured servitude of our dear local friends and family! I'm so grateful for all they are doing and continue to do with helping us out!
I now return to what used to be my "musical sewing" room to continue its transformation into a nursery. One piece of furniture I was using for storage is now gone. The other two are almost empty and ready to move. Boxes and storage containers everywhere!

Jeremiah 1:5

2008-05-19T05:45:00.000-07:00

Two days in a row of posting! Amazing! Or maybe it's just because I have a lot to share ;0)
We had our first ultrasound on Thursday afternoon. At that point I was 9 weeks and 4 days. Here are the pictures we were given of our little "Spud" who is just growing along every day! During the ultrasound we were able to see him/her wiggling and moving around. And we also were given the opportunity to listen to the heartbeat which was at a healthy 182 for this stage of the pregnancy. I have to say those were the two highlights of the experience. To see the baby moving around was incredible. Though I obviously cannot feel it yet it was incredible to think that it was inside of me at that very moment (and still is!) The heartbeat made me wonder in amazement at just how incredible God is! That He created this life inside of me and is hard at work forming and shaping it. God is awesome!

Daughter of Eve Danae

2008-05-18T18:05:00.000-07:00

If you've seen the new movie Prince Caspian that just released in the U.S. on Friday then hopefully you remember seeing the red dress that Lucy wore throughout most of the film. It is the dress that I spent the last couple of months making a replica of. In case you haven't seen it yet, or are planning to go again keep an eye out for this costume! I wore it Friday night to the premiere here in Charleston, accompanied by some of my family. To our surprise, a group of my friends from CSU also chose the same theater and time to see the movie as well! So they were able to see me all decked out as Queen Lucy. I received many stares, much like last time when I made my green archery dress for the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe. I even had a staff member take my picture! It was so much fun seeing the costume I'd worked so hard on up on the big screen! I'm hoping that I'll have the opportunity to make a third costume for the next book that will be filmed, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. But that will depend quite a bit on my growing family! I am officially 10 weeks pregnant today! I'm waiting on emails of the scans my parents did of the ultrasound pictures to share with everyone. As soon as I get them I will post them! In the meantime here are two of many pictures taken of me in costume Friday night. Enjoy!

9 weeks along...

2008-05-05T09:54:00.000-07:00

It's a good thing that I'm not in full time classes at the moment. The past few days have been pretty rough healthwise. Unfortunately the morning sickness has begun, but it definitely doesn't always hit me during the am hours of the day. I'm more disappointed that I can't keep down my usual favorites like fresh strawberries and blueberries. Yesterday I think I got enough sleep for at least 3 people. It was all I could do to stand up and move to another room. For someone who is not a typical nap taker, two 3 1/2 hour snoozes are pretty significant. We still don't have our first ultrasound until the 15th so I've been keeping myself somewhat entertained and inspired by looking at fetal development progressions online. The best one I've found, or at least the one I like the most, is at Pregnancy.org. It has a week by week breakdown of the growth and development that the baby is experiencing. It's helping to pass the time until my doctor's appointment!
Our house is in a bit of disarray right now. We came to the conclusion that my musical sewing room is the most logical place to turn into a nursery. Therefore, all of the "stuff" in there is going through a major overhaul. We'll be removing three pieces of furniture: an entertainment center, chest of drawers, and shelves. Items that I need close by, mainly sheet music and therapy supplies, are being transferred to plastic bins that we can easily store under the future crib. All of my textbooks and school supplies are being moved to shelves and storage that we have in the office right next door. The instruments, guitar, bari sax, banjo, flute... are somehow going to now be stored next to the piano in the living room. Still figuring that one out. Other items like my Precious Moments collection and old sewing projects are getting the boot up into the attic for now. There's simply no other place to put them in the house. Hopefully my sewing machine and desk will stay in the room just for easy access. Before any of this can happen, I've gotta finish my costume!
I'm coming up with a plan to hopefully ready our animal children for the new family member. For the first month or so, baby will sleep in our room in the cradle that my dad and his friend made a long time ago. It wasn't ready for me when I was born but all of my sisters and close family and friends have used it since. The crib itself is pretty low to the ground, at least for my tall dogs they can easily look in and take a peek...or a lick... Once I have some new bedding made for the mattress I'm going to put a baby doll inside and get them used to seeing something in there that they do not have free reign to mess with. The same goes for travel in my Jeep. As soon as we get our hands on a car seat, I'll probably put Lucy in the back and Petey up front with me. Lucy will have to get used to not jumping on the car seat itself. I figure it will go a lot smoothly if I get them used to something inanimate so the transition to a real baby will happen more quickly. That's my plan anyway. I'm sure it won't go exactly how I have in mind. They've always been terrific with children big and small. They're already treating me differently than ever before, at my side constantly, cuddling right up next to my belly... just to name a few. I'm having fun watching them!
That's enough sit up time for now. I have my orientation for my Maymester clinical tomorrow. I'm a little anxious about my stamina given my track record since Saturday. Hopefully I'm getting sufficient rest and will be ready to go in the morning!

Powerful Drama

2008-04-29T18:04:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure how popular this production has become. The youth group at my church did it a few Sundays ago and it was really incredible. The name of the band playing is Lifehouse and it is their song, "Everything." Just wanted to share it with any of you who might be interested!

Every little bit helps!

2008-04-23T14:13:00.000-07:00

I received a reminder email about this from one of my friends yesterday. I used to participate years ago almost every day (if I could remember!) and I thought it was worth passing along to my fan club. Ha ha, get it? Fan club... Okay moving on. It is a legitimate deal that's been around for at least 2-3 years. Anyway the details explain themselves:

Please tell ten friends to tell ten today! The Breast Cancer site is having trouble getting enough people to click on their site daily to meet their quota of donating at least one free mammogram a day to an underprivileged woman. It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "donating a mammogram" for free (pink window in the middle).
This doesn't cost you a thing. Their corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate mammogram in exchange for advertising.
Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know.

Growing family

2008-04-15T12:36:00.000-07:00

It is no secret now that Mark and I are expecting our first child! Yay! This definitely wasn't planned, seeing as how I still have a years worth of classes and and internship to finish before I complete my music therapy degree...however... God is so incredibly awesome and has blessed me with wonderful family and friends who are more than ready to help me any way that they can!! Finishing my degree will be a bit of a challenge to say the least, but I'm confident that He has it all in control and that it will happen in His name!

Here are some very brief details about the Ogre baby :0)
~Based on my calculations and the results that were taken at the doctor's office today I am about 5-6 weeks along.
~This makes my due date roughly December 13th, which is conveniently right after final exams for the fall semester.
~And before you ask, we will NOT be finding out whether it's a boy or girl ahead of time. I decided a long time ago that I wanted to be surprised whenever it did happen. Call me crazy but it's just something I seem to be stuck on :0)

Like any major life changing event I know that this one will not go exactly how I meticulously plan it. I humbly ask for prayers and encouraging thoughts as we enter this brand new part of our lives. I ask for prayers concerning our growing family, my ongoing pursuit for a music therapy degree and the will of God in all of this.

Thank you so much for those who have sent well wishes! They are most certainly appreciated!

We love you all!
Angela Danae

Catching Up

2008-04-08T17:23:00.000-07:00

This semester has been probably my most challenging so far at CSU. Evidence of this is clearly shown in how many posts I've been getting in as of late. Figured it was time for a general update for any who may care to know.

I'm gradually being given more and more responsibility as the music therapy work study. For the past month I have been working on improving our internship site notebooks that have not been updated since 2002. Almost every state has at least one or two sites - some a whole lot more! (CA, TX) The update process involves retrieving and printing program descriptions from the AMTA website, contacting the program coordinators by snail mail with information requests and organizing them in the notebooks, complete with table of contents. It's a monumental task that has already taken me close to a month for only three notebooks, AL-NC. On a really positive note I am getting a thorough, first-hand knowledge of just what is available for me a year from now when my course schedule will be complete! Plus a few first name basis contacts for future reference! In the midst of all this I have become the contact person for any incoming freshmen and transfers interested in the music therapy program. I'm honored that my supervisors trust me with this kind of responsibility. It does wonders for the self-esteem!
As part of my music therapy education I have to participate in six different clinical sites offered by the university. So far I have had one geriatric site and two sites with children. None have been the population that I am eager to work with however I have learned valuable information and skills that I plan to use as a professional. I am excited to report that I have two guaranteed clinicals coming up for Maymester and the Fall that are exactly what I want! And they are a neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) as well as a local children's hospital medically fragile unit. When my supervisor announced this to me I wanted to jump up and shout for joy! My desire to work as a medical music therapist particularly infants and pediatrics has been my driving force to pursue and finish this degree. This makes all of my hard work and effort thus far all the more rewarding. It will definitely be a challenge based on what she has planned for me to experience and accomplish. But I am ready and eager to learn how to work with these populations! More on that to come later I'm sure...
Marching auditions have begun again. This year I'm attempting another snare audition for the drumline. I had a ball with marching percussion last year and I'm eager to be a part of it again. Should I not make snare then I'll definitely be on the base drum line again. I'll take it! We have a lot more traveling in store for this season compared to last. So that in itself will make for a little more challenging season. However, this is my last time ever participating in a marching band. So I'm going to end it with style, grace and a lot of fun!
My second Narnia dress is well on it's way to completion. I've finished the skirt for the most part and will be starting on the bodice and sleeves hopefully this weekend. I have until the 16th of May so it is definitely taking a back burner to my educational responsibilities. But I'm having a great time getting it put together! Ever since I learned to sew a few years ago I've found a love for working with fabric and seeing what I can create with it. My projects have included several costumes, a bridesmaids dress, curtains, pillow cases, blankets and dog beds. Not to mention the Navy uniforms I have patched and altered for Mark and his buddies who don't have wives who sew! :0) I'll post pictures as soon as this undertaking is complete and ready for its debut at the release of Prince Caspian!
I've started playing piano at church instead of just flute. It can be a huge challenge especially when the guitarists pull out their capos. I consider that cheating because there's no such thing as a capo for pianos or flutes! I have to know my key signatures! I don't have much experience playing by rote or improving off of guitar chords as far as piano is concerned. So my reasons are two-fold:

I want to hone my skills and talents that God has provided me to honor and glorify His name.
This is a skill area needed for music therapy. What better way to work on in that in praise and worship to the Lord!

Never ceasing in all of this is my personal growth and walk with Jesus. I'm amazed every day by how much He has provided and blessed me with. My Bible studies have been revealing so many new things to me that would take more than I have time to explain tonight. I have been able to encourage my closest friends during times of need with the power of scripture. And that's a wonderful thing to be able to do! Okay, getting tired and not making sense anymore...
That's enough for now. I am thoroughly exhausted from today. And I have a full schedule of activities awaiting me tomorrow of course. Now it's off to bed!

22 years later...

2008-04-05T14:09:00.001-07:00

My sisters and Frances will especially appreciate this one! This was one of my all time favorite clips from from Sesame Street when I was younger. To this day I cannot go to the store to get bread, milk or butter without thinking about it! I still remember!

Earning their keep

2008-03-25T16:28:00.000-07:00

Though we don't actually have children as of yet, we do have our animal "kids" to keep us company and quite entertained. Mark jokes around that with the vet bills we sometimes have they ought to have a job to earn their keep! So I made Petey help me with the dishes. Lucy is simply good enough for snuggles whenever you need them the most. Here are some moments we captured with the camera:

I try to thank God every day even for the simplest of pleasures that I find with my family (canine kind included) and friends. He is the ultimate provider of joy and I'm so blessed with the life He has given me and those I have to share it with!

Well begun is half done...

2008-03-01T11:56:00.001-08:00

...In other words, let's tidy up the band room. (my subtle tribute, once again, to Mary Poppins)
Leave it up to a bunch of band dorks to turn the monumental task of cleaning up after a regional middle and high school band clinic into an evening of fun and laughter. I'm so glad I brought my camera. One can never have too much fun with paper towels and brooms!

Brad, Jeffrey and Danae ninjas attack Brent!

Jessica and Brent calling a truce!

Challenging Andrew to a duel with a broom stick.

Using Andrew as a broom instead!

Our reward...practicing for marching band drumline auditions! Okay, we don't march triangles!

Three-Year-Old Rock Star

2008-02-26T20:09:00.000-08:00

My best friend Alicia has one of the most adorable kids on the planet. This is her rendition of the new Rascal Flatt's song, Bob That Head. It was so stinkin' cute I had to share it! Enjoy!

Bronchitis Blues...

2008-02-20T16:03:00.000-08:00

So ends a month of fighting off what couldn't be prevented. On Sunday night I realized that the cold I had been holding at bay was now a deep nose dive into bronchitis. On Monday morning when I called base medical to make an appointment they reminded me that they were closed for the federal holiday. Great. So they made a phone call to a local Health First: Urgent Care in town. I'm normally not fond of "Doc-in-a-Box" places (as my mom affectionately calls them) but I was certainly desperate. Since I was unable to really attend class or participate in my flute lesson I took time out to take care of Danae and went to the Urgent Care. I was very pleasantly surprised to discover that the clinic itself had a Christian approach to their treatment plan. In fact, on the front door they had Joshua 24:15 displayed in bold lettering and there was Christian music piped in through the PA system throughout the whole building. I was in an examination room within 15 minutes and out about 30-45 minutes later, complete with chest x-ray, albuterol nebulizer treatment, steroid shot and four prescription medications to kick the bronchitis out of my system. The staff were extremely pleasant and easy to work with. The only part I didn't like was the steroid shot. That particular nurse wasn't the gentlest of people and stabbed me pretty good; I think she hit the bone. Nevertheless, I received the treatment I needed. I went to campus afterwards because to miss an entire Monday of Danae activities is not a wise thing to do. I took it very easy with all of the classes and ensembles. And everyone there pretty much watched me like a hawk to make sure I was alright. Until I got home and looked in the mirror I had no idea how pale and sick I actually looked!
Now I'm still trying to take it as easy as I can. I had a clinical and honors recital audition today, neither of which could be rescheduled. That certainly took its toll. However, I'm home now and getting some relaxation time in while I study and prepare for a test and presentation tomorrow. Any prayers for my stamina for the rest of the week are most welcome!

Counterpoint. Not a friend to me!

2008-01-26T06:16:00.000-08:00

I loathe, detest and in other words dislike with a passion the method of writing music in counterpoint. This is a technique that was recently introduced to my music theory class this semester. My instructor has reduced what exists as a full book full of rules down to 15 pages. These rules must be strictly adhered to in order to achieve a musical piece written in true counterpoint! We were given a take-home test that we could bring back to class so he could see how we were doing. A few people are slowly starting to get the hang of it. Not Danae. I rewrote mine three times and each time more than half of it was incorrect in some form or fashion. Tri tones and parallel octaves are my specialty!
I tried examining myself to try and figure out what was causing this mental block. On a normal basis anything having to do with music comes pretty naturally to me. Ergo the GPA that I have and the enjoyment I am experiencing achieving a music therapy degree! However, I am allowing myself to get frustrated and suffer even a little bit of wounded pride with this counterpoint nonsense. In fact, the only explanation I can think of, and it's actually rather humorous takes place on a day back in 1986 when I came home from kindergarten.
I brought home a coloring page that we were assigned to complete that day. And at the top, my kindergarten teacher had written a note indicating that I had not followed directions. Her rather scathing letter read something like, "I told you to color this teddy bear brown!" Well, my teddy bear didn't want to be brown. He wanted to be purple. I'm not sure if my mom spoke to my teacher or not, but nevertheless I was not punished in any way for my lack of conformity. (at least from what I can remember. Mom? Dad?) Sure, following directions was important and still is. But as an adult I would like to think that my five-year-old self was determined to demonstrate my creativity and desire to not be like everyone else.
Following 15 pages of strict rules, to a certain degree, is very anti-Danae. When trying to write in counterpoint I feel hindered and cut off from any ideas that spring to my mind. I've never been fond of writing music in the first place. When paired with regulations and rule after rule that state, "You can't do this," I go into a tailspin. I'm hoping that this section of theory is over quickly. And that I can somehow grasp the concept enough to be satisfactory for the class. Who knows, maybe my professor will think of something that might click with me.

Answers to prayer

2008-01-22T03:29:00.000-08:00

Well, it took an asthma attack Friday morning and a relatively uneventful weekend to force me to slow down and get some rest. Today I'm feeling much better and I'm pretty sure I've taken care of it for now. I'm deeply appreciative of the thoughts and prayers! Please continue to keep the other request in mind. It's turning out to be quite an interesting semester and I'm not looking forward to what God may have in mind concerning my influence on the situation. Again, I am fully confident and am resting assured that any perceived discrepancy in my actions is no longer an issue. I dealt with it face-to-face shortly after things went south. But the moral as a whole is declining on a daily basis. No one else seems to want to be an adult or take a Christian stand against this problem. I appreciate you all!

Prayer Requests

2008-01-16T18:01:00.000-08:00

Normally my posts are focused on how God's blessings in my life and the lives of others I know. Sometimes they are silly and random for the sole purpose of sharing my joy with others. This one is different in nature simply from a desire and request for prayer from those of you who are willing.
I am sick again. It's been a back and forth illness for about a week now. But I think it has finally turned into full blown bronchitis. I cannot stress enough the horrible timing in which this has occurred. We just started the spring semester with more and more activities and responsibilities adding up every day. My health is number one on my list of priorities. A GPA and scholarship are not worth sacrificing the rest and sleep that I need. And I'm trying to find a healthy balance between the two. If I don't allow my body to heal and recover it will get worse, the joys of having asthma, and I'll really have a situation on my hands. My good friend, Andrew, prayed for my healing after rehearsal this evening. I'd greatly appreciate the same from anyone else who believes in the power of prayer to rid me of whatever is causing this!
Secondly, there has been drama in the instrumental studio that I am a member of on campus. For the sake of internet privacy I won't go into detail with names and specific events. Ever since things went south the end of last semester I have felt as if the enemy has gotten a hold of those primarily involved and continues to tighten his grip. The animosity, frustration and general lack of respect towards others seems to get worse and worse with every lesson and rehearsal. I'm weary of the stress and tension that has appeared to dominate every single practice we have. Scripturally, I have properly dealt with my involvement concerning what appears to be the source of the problem. But it hasn't made much of a difference as far as the rest of the studio. And all the flute students are suffering unjust consequences for the actions of others - which obviously haven't been dealt with properly. I ask for prayer for the softening of hardened hearts and the willingness for everyone involved to deal with and work out this situation. For everyone to seek to understand in addition to being understood. Most importantly, I ask for prayer concerning my own thoughts and actions. There are things I have let enter my mind and sometimes exit my mouth that are not of God and will not help at all in the long run. I pray for the strength to have the mind of Christ and to show His glory no matter what happens.
I appreciate anyone who stuck with my post up till now and thank you in advance for any prayer or words of advice you have to share!

Fun with Julie Andrews

2008-01-13T17:24:00.000-08:00

I was investigating whether or not YouTube had decent clips from Mary Poppins and found something even better! The viewing quality is quite poor. But still fun!

A Resolution of Sorts

2008-01-05T08:36:00.001-08:00

All around the world people are taking the opportunity to think about and act upon their New Year's Resolutions. A good friend of mine shared a familiar scripture with me a few evenings ago that helped me with putting this tradition into a more Biblical perspective. The passage can be found in Habakkuk 2:2-4.
"Write the vision and mike it plain on tablets, that he may run who reads it. For the vision is yet for an appointed time; But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; Because it will surely come, it will not tarry. Behold the proud, his soul is not upright in him; But the just shall live by his faith."
There are so many things that I have a passion to do and accomplish in my life. The opportunity to return to college and complete a degree in a field of study that I absolutely love has been an enormous blessing from God! And am thankful more and more each day as I continue learning and growing. However, one other passion of mine, that is becoming more evident with each passing year, is the desire to be a mom. With the exception of a few, pretty much all of my friends have started their families. Though my joy and happiness for them is heartfelt I tend to feel the sting of not having any children of my own yet. This was a choice I had to make a few years ago. I knew full well that if I returned to school the family would have to wait. Among other feelings and ideas racing through my thoughts it has become somewhat of a struggle.
The Lord has put a burden on my heart to keep my focus this year. Enjoy the time that I have learning all about my field of study and to do my absolute best. I have to trust God that these two passions were laid upon my heart for a reason; live by faith that in Him I can accomplish them both in His appointed time. To not view the passing months and years as a ticking biological clock, but as steps towards a plan that God has uniquely designed just for me.
Thank you God for all that you have provided and continue to provide for myself and for all those I love and care about! I trust in You to intimately know the depths of my heart and to pour out Your blessings in Your own divinely, appointed time.

Music here, there and everywhere!

2007-12-16T19:58:00.000-08:00

Have you ever been in a situation where you have the ability to bring joyfulness, fun or some kind of improvement--but you're terrified to act upon it because of intimidation or fearfulness? On Saturday afternoon I went to see the new Alvin and the Chipmunks movie with my mom, aunt and 10-year-old cousin. I was mainly there for the company and not out of a great desire to see the show itself. 10-15 minutes into the movie the power in the entire building went out. We had workers stopping by every few minutes to give us updates on the situation and where to go if anyone wanted refunds or rain checks. We had about 20 minutes of this and since we were at a children's movie the kids pretty much outnumbered the adults 3 to 1. I turned around in my seat (we were near the front) and I noticed the kids gradually becoming more and more agitated. Their parents didn't have much of a choice. It was either sit in the theater and hope for the movie to come back on or go stand and wait in a line of 200 people to get refunds. I knew the back of my head that God had equipped me with the ability to handle this situation but the thought of doing what I had in mind was quite intimidating! After going back and forth over it in my head for a few minutes and convincing my cousin, Erica, to join me I stood up, walked to the front of the theater and announced that since we were stuck there we might as well make it fun! And I proceeded to lead the entire theater in a rousing dance of If You're Happy and You Know It! The kids went nuts! They were jumping up, clapping and singing. I started taking song requests and when I didn't know all of the words the kids came down and helped me sing. I must have had close to 10 children up at the front of the theater. Their parents laughed and joined in the singing as well as cheering on their kids. For 30 minutes no one cared about the situation. We even had theater workers coming in to watch the sing-along. We found out later on, once the managers decided to shut down for the rest of the day, that reports of the sing-along had made their way around the entire building. And the manager who gave my mom her refunds assured us that it was very well-received and the critics approved!
Although my mom said I appeared to be right in my element I couldn't have been more terrified to do that. I completely stepped out of my own personal boundary and took a chance. The most amazing part of this story is during the singing this young woman with her husband and son came down and started talking to my mom. Once I was finished (and some kids took over) and came back to my seat I learned that it was one of my sister Melody's friends from ages ago that we used to give rides to school every morning! They hadn't seen each other since middle school and she is now married with two children! She knew she recognized me when I started the whole thing and made a beeline for my mom. They exchanged phone numbers and she'll hopefully get back in touch with Melody in the near future. The likelihood of her recognizing us and seeking us out probably would not have happened had I not taken a chance.

Halfway there...

2007-12-12T10:13:00.000-08:00

It's official! I ended the Fall 2007 semester on Monday afternoon with yet another flute jury. I went online to take a look at my final grades and it looks like I still may be holding on to that 4.0! One of my professors made me work pretty hard for my A. It's difficult to please an instructor who changes her mind on requirements for assignments all the time! Her method of posting final grades is a little sketchy so I'm waiting for my official report to determine whether or not the A is legit. With this end of this fall semester I have officially made it halfway to my music therapy degree, at least as far as classes are concerned. Once I am finished in the spring of 2009 I'll still have an internship to complete. The halfway mark is only possible at this point because my junior and senior classes will be doubled with each other next year--many thanks to my music therapy instructors! The last week of classes and finals was a rather exhausting one to say the least. I was faced with several challenges that helped me to grow as an adult and as a Christ follower. Right now I feel physically tired from the issues I had to face. But I'm confident that they have equipped me for what I know will face me in the future. And the Christmas holiday break could not have come at a more opportune time for me to find physical and spiritual rest, recharging me for the spring 2008 semester ahead! As always I am deeply thankful and grateful to God for all He has blessed me with. I'm very much looking forward to the rest of my journey to becoming a music therapist board certified!

Prince Caspian trailer

2007-12-09T19:27:00.000-08:00

If you aren't terribly troubled with mild spoilers, here's the official trailer for Prince Caspian that was released last week on the internet. I know, I'm a geek :0)

The Golden Compass

2007-10-29T18:24:00.000-07:00

I received a very disturbing email this evening. Normally I'm not lured into gossip or urban legend stories. But this one particularly caught my attention, especially after checking out it's legitimacy on Snopes. The email, in a nutshell, basically warned about the dangerous message of this book and the author's intentions for the series he has written. According to the article on snopes and various other websites, Philip Pullman is a strong atheist who makes it no secret his hatred for Christianity and any ideas that support the existence of God. Based on all I have read and found out at this point I am appalled and greatly saddened by this. However, my time is so unbearably limited and I'm not the world's expert at finding legit information to make a firm decision on whether or not this is an area to make a stand for Christ. I've already pretty much made my mind up to not support the movie financially by seeing it in the theater or by renting it. But does this situation call for a more dynamic approach? Should I warn my friends and family, especially those with young children, about the dangerous underlying message that the author is apparently intending to get across, not only in this book but in two others in the series? Am I falling for yet another internet trap determined to make a mountain out of a mole hill? Please help!

The month of October

2007-10-28T11:19:00.000-07:00

As evidenced by my lack of posting, October has been quite a busy month! A little too busy at times I'm afraid. Nevertheless I wanted to keep you all updated on all the happenings with Angela Danae.

Since my last post everything is still going beautifully with the twins. During my fall break I spent the night with them to give Daddy a night off. Alicia and I had a chance to visit and talk during feedings which hasn't happened in a while with me being in school! She's been trying to get them in some kind of schedule. But babies are babies and they're fighting her every step of the way it seems. Last night Mark and I visited for a while and got to witness them taking turns crying. They would seriously look in each others' direction waiting for their turn. I called it, "Late Night Sonata for Two Babies," with each movement having trade off solo sections. Please keep them in your prayers!
Mom and Dad came down for a visit a few weekends ago. They had their first glimpse of Danae marching in the drumline. I don't think Mom quite wanted to believe it until she saw it with her own eyes. The football team won that game which made the visit a little more pleasant. And they also came to our Wind Ensemble concert the following Sunday. Dad has a new toy that he's been recording our concerts with. And although our most recent one is not on there yet, you can hear one from last semester here on his website.
Speaking of Wind Ensemble, the Lord has truly blessed the program with some incredible freshmen. Several of the recordings from last year are pretty rough. We were lacking talent and ability in several of the sections which hurt us during performances. But this year it is like night and day in comparison. In fact, NPR will broad cast several of the recordings from our most recent concert. It's really exciting to watch everything improve and grow in the department!
More music news, I snagged the electric guitar spot in Pep Band for this year. It's a brand new adventure for me. It will be fun but also a quite a challenge! I'm looking forward to broadening my musical background and abilities.
I've started tutoring Sight Singing and Ear Training on campus. These classes in particular are dreaded by most music majors. The material actually came quite easily to me and I aced every semester. But unfortunately most people struggle with it. So I'm trying to use my gift to serve others and help them get through this necessary material. I'm also doing it to hone my skills since I don't have to take any more classes like it for the remainder of my undergrad. It also helps that I am getting paid by the school and that I can put the experience in my resume as an official scholastic tutor for the university.

I suppose that is all for now. It frustrates me when I don't get to my blog at least once a week. I am thankful for the times I do get to spend writing down my thoughts and experiences. Until next time...

Welcome to the World!

2007-10-09T19:11:00.000-07:00

I'm so excited to report that my best friend, Alicia, gave birth to two gorgeous baby girls yesterday! Meredith Danae was born at 3:20 weighing 4 lbs. 12 oz. Savannah Marie followed close behind at 3:25 weighing 4 lbs. 13 oz. It's also fun to report that the girls bear our middle names. Alicia didn't do this intentionally. And when she told me the names she had chosen a few months ago I started cracking up. We were both pretty crazy in high school. So she's in for a great time with these two. And how appropriate that they already parallel our personalities perfectly! Here are some pictures of my visit this evening. Please keep the family in your prayers as they are going home tomorrow!

The girls with their "Aunt Angela"

Savannah Marie

Meredith Danae

There's a First Time for Everything

2007-10-02T19:09:00.000-07:00

I'm not entirely certain why or how I came up with the inspiration for this post. I was eating a late lunch after my clinical this afternoon and started thinking about some of the "firsts" from my life. So, why not blog about it! Enjoy:

My very first memory that I can recall is of myself falling head first down a set of stairs, holding onto a toy shopping cart. I was only two-years-old.
When I first held my baby sister, Katie, was born (I was four-years-old) I didn't understand why I had to sit down in order to do so. After all, she was the same size as my dolls. In fact, my mom recalls a time when Katie began to cry and my mom was busy doing dishes. I went and got her out of the cradle to bring to my mom - in a house of hardwood floors. :0)
I remember the first time I got my feelings hurt, at least at school. There was a girl in my kindergarten class who would pretend to be my best friend until recess. Outside, on the playground, she would stick her tongue out at me and say mean things.
The first time I ordered something by myself at the counter of a restaurant it was quite confusing for me. When asked "Is this for here or to go," I thought to myself, "Of course it's to go. I'm not going to stand here at the counter and eat it!"
My parents very rarely made exceptions at bedtime on a school night. The first time I remember my mom bending the rule for me was after a piano lesson. We picked up dinner at Burger King and went to visit my grandmother well after my sisters had already gone to bed. It was so much fun!
When I tried to play the flute for the first time I never got a sound out of the head joint. I was so disheartened and disappointed, convinced for years that this was the instrument for me. In fact, I almost switched to clarinet. Little did I know...
The very first time a boy kissed me I thought it was weird and gross. My first reaction, which I did not act upon, was to scream and push him away. Should have gone with instinct.
My first time ever driving a car was my parent's minivan in the Charleston Southern University parking lot. I didn't have my permit yet and had to beg my mom to let me. I was one cool cat let me tell you!
The first time I ever went overseas was to London, England with the Charleston Symphony Youth Orchestra. We traveled overnight and were scheduled to arrive in the early morning. As the sun rose over the ocean I looked out my window and stared at one of the most gorgeous sunrises I had ever seen. I'll never forget out majestic it looked.
My first day of college classes at Columbia College was interesting. In classic freshman style, I went to the wrong room for my first class.

That's enough for now. Bedtime has arrived. Oooh, Burger King sounds yummy...

Crisis Management

2007-09-21T04:57:00.000-07:00

Heh heh...

When I was in high school...

2007-09-03T18:37:00.000-07:00

This one I got inspired from Paul's latest post.
... I was most definitely a music nerd. I participated in every instrumental ensemble available at school.
... Former classmates that see me now remember me as that "drum major girl."
... My favorite musical ensemble was the Charleston Youth Symphony. We took a trip to London during spring break of my senior year that I still remember vividly to this day.
... I took Air Force JROTC because I didn't want to have to suffer through PE as a severe asthmatic. I ended up hating ROTC because of the uniform regulations. Should have done the other.
... I went to all the football games because we had to in the marching band. I didn't enjoy them very much.
... I did not have a car because my parents could not afford another vehicle. Apparently having four daughters can get pretty expensive.
... My favorite class was French because the instructor was extremely strict. She had to be from teaching cadets at the Citadel.
... My best friend and I met through a mutual friend our freshmen year. We are still best friends to this day.
... Never once did I skip a class or school day on purpose.
... Like Paul, I too, "got a letter jacket under the notion that "I'll still wear it after I graduate"."
... I went to the prom only once my freshman year. My junior and senior years I went on a church youth group trip instead.
... One of my closest friends my senior year was a Swedish foreign exchange student named Olof. We still keep in touch to this day.
... It took me two tries to score above a 1000 on the SAT. And that was after taking practice tests and using preparation materials. I ended up with an 1110.
... Unlike Paul these were not fun for me whatsoever! :0)
... I was a member of National Honor Society. The only service project I ever participated in was helping at a soup kitchen downtown.
... I dated several guys from church. Generally, if they asked me out I said yes. I was a gullible person.
... During my junior year my dad thought that music therapy would be a perfect match for me at Charleston Southern University. I didn't believe him and was determined to do something else. Little did I know...
... My very first job was working the front gate at a local county park, Wannamaker County Park. It has been one of my favorite jobs ever since.
Guess that's sufficient for now. Taking trips down memory lane are so much fun!

Cloudy Sunrise at the Beach

2007-09-02T14:18:00.000-07:00

My friend, Brad, had a fantastic idea the end of last week. He suggested a small group trip down to Folly Beach early on Saturday morning to watch the sunrise and to use it as a time of worship and fellowship with God. So we did! For several people who planned on coming 5:00 am didn't agree with them and they didn't wake up in time to leave. So it ended up being Brad, two other girls named Erin and Carolyn, and myself. The weather did not cooperate so much. It rained the whole way down there and cleared up just long enough for us to wade in the shallow water as we watched the sun try to peek through the clouds making its way up. We didn't let it dampen our spirits, however. There was a nearby building with restrooms, a gift shop and a restaurant that had picnic tables on a deck below. So we brought our communion, Bibles and guitar over to the tables and spent time with the Lord. It was such a spiritual jump start for the rest of the day. How I long to begin each and every day just admiring the majesty of Christ and the beautiful world He has created for us to enjoy like we did that morning. Though the pictures taken simply cannot do it justice they are a small souvenir of a memory that we plan to do again sometime very soon. Next time the skies will be clear God willing!

Hot Weather

2007-08-28T04:33:00.001-07:00

This ones for you, mom!
I'm actually not bothered by hot weather. If anything I am more cold natured. Usually when I'm at a comfortable temperature other people are starting to sweat and complain. But this cartoon was too perfect for mom I couldn't pass it up. The southeast has been rather warm lately. Goodness knows during marching rehearsal I'm challenged carrying that base drum all over the field. Hopefully we'll be getting some significant rain soon to cool things off.

The Vine and the Branches

2007-08-20T14:10:00.001-07:00

This past week I became involved in a heated discussion about a question concerning salvation. The section of scripture in question was John 15:1-8. One of my friends was of the opinion that the branches represent everyone who is a saved Christian. If they do not "produce fruit" then they are pruned away. So in other words, if someone becomes a Christian and then later rejects God or His teachings and refuses to follow Him, then he loses his place in the book of life. My other friend believed that once you become saved there is absolutely no way you can truly deny God or His teachings; that your place in heaven is secure and nonnegotiable. The "discussion" escalated to a point where the group of us finally broke down to pray for God's direction and guidance. I am of the opinion that you must continue to obey God and remain a faithful steward of Christ to spend eternity with Him in heaven. Some other scripture references that I found were in Matthew 8:17-23 and Luke 13:6-9. I also found a story in the old testament, Isaiah 5:1-7, that helped me in my study of this topic.
In the Bible there were so many different ways that people came to Christ for salvation. From the thief on the cross to Nicodemus's inquiry of becoming "born again," the Word demonstrates many ways of Christ's acceptance. And I know that I'm just barely scratching the surface of how much scripture has to say about this topic. Maybe this isn't a black and white issue where there is a right answer and a wrong one. However, I'd like to learn as much as I can in order to show other people what I know in my heart God is trying to tell me. Is this a subject that is better left at agreeing to disagree? God created the heavens and the earth. He is omnipotent in a way we cannot fathom or possibly understand. He knows the true desires and natures of our hearts. How does this come into play with what the scripture is trying to say in John 15? I'd love some thoughts, opinions and even more scripture to study that any of you may have!

Fairytale Reality Life

2007-08-12T07:52:00.000-07:00

I just had to deal with a Federal work study problem with my account at school this past week. During the heat of it all I almost wished I could retreat into my own fantasy world without any cares or worries. Fortunately all has turned out well in the end. But was certainly something I did not enjoy going through! Needless to say, I saw this Non-Sequitur cartoon for the day and thought it was quite fitting!
This cartoon features a little girl named Danae who has a pet pony named Lucy. She also has a younger sister named Katie who has a dog named Petey. My name is Danae and I have a dog named Lucy. My youngest sister Kathryn absolutely adores my other dog Petey. Scary huh?

Prince Caspian Sneak Peak

2007-08-11T11:35:00.000-07:00

I am a huge Narnia fan. And I'm enough of a geek to follow the production of the new movies that are coming out. This video was released a few weeks ago. After watching it I decided that my next Narnia costume will be Lucy's red dress, which can be seen in several of the frames. I made Susan's green archery dress for the release of the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe in 2005. I know, I'm a dork...

An answered prayer

2007-08-07T11:38:00.000-07:00

There are many things I have to be thankful for. And I felt like sharing one of them that has developed over the past few weeks. Earlier this summer the music therapy students met with a possible candidate to replace one of our instructors who left for Florida to continue her PhD. It was a great group discussion and we enjoyed getting to know her very much. Well, she has since been hired and has already put her textbooks up for sale in bookstore for this semesters classes. What initially attracted me to this particular candidate was that much of her experience has been in research, particularly in Neonatal Intensive Care Units and Pediatrics. I flipped open the front cover of one of the books we'll be using this year. And I discovered that the first three chapters of the text have all kinds of goodies about Pediatrics and NICU's! I jumped for joy!

Music therapy students at CSU do not get a whole lot of undergraduate degree experience with children. And those rare opportunities are usually limited to children with special needs. Now that I have a professor with the same specific interests as myself I look forward to learning more about this field area in the classroom and hopefully out in the local hospitals! It's a blessing from God I never saw coming. And I'm so thankful! Now I'm on the edge of my seat, waiting for classes to begin again. Since when has Danae ever been busting at the seams for school to start?

Revisiting the old alma ma...is this where I went to school?

2007-07-25T14:20:00.000-07:00

I had an interesting experience this afternoon. My good friend, Josh, has become the brand new band director of the middle school that I went to over a decade ago. He has the rest of the summer to get the room, instruments, and materials ready for students next month. Being the sentimental sap that I am and the helping hand that I like to be I offered to assist him with whatever needed to be done. Plus it would be a chance to revisit the school and relive some of the memories I had of attending there.
Boy, I had no idea what was in store. From the moment I reached the parking lot I knew things were vastly different. What used to be a covered sidewalk next to a small courtyard was now a fully enclosed entrance with a hallway. The main office stood where the courtyard used to be and in it's previous location there was now a classroom. Even the office windows had been filled up with brick and cement. Taking a turn to the left where the science labs used to be I was greeted with the double doors to the new library location. Exclaiming out loud, "Well, where are the science labs now?!" I rushed down the 6th grade hall, which used to be the 8th, all the way to the end. There the science labs now stood in place of the library.
After that I quickly crossed the courtyard between the halls and now found myself in the 7th-8th grade, used to be 6th grade, hallway. I passed by my old homerooms and math classes and remembered how intimidated I felt the first time I walked this same path at 11 years old. Except for the computer lab being twice the size it used to be, everything was pretty much the same. Reaching the end of the hallway I glanced into the cafeteria thinking to myself, "There's no way they could have changed that around." Wrong again. The stage had been completely moved to the other end of the room. How that got accomplished I'd love to know.
Finally we arrived at the band room and I held my breath as Josh unlocked and opened the doors. It was pretty much the same room it used to be except there was now a solid brick wall where the windows used to be. I became curious to find out what the outside wall now looked like since the windows were gone. I rounded the corner and had to do a double take. Where a huge lawn and sidewalks used to be a long hallway full of classrooms now existed. There was a classroom right on the other side of the band room which explained the nonexistent windows.
I left feeling like it was not the middle school I had attended over ten years ago. My sentiment got the best of me and I was actually kind of sad that so many things had changed. In the long run it was just a building that had to change with the times just like the rest of the world. I'm glad I have those memories that I can revisit in my mind. Those are impossible for anyone else to change! In the end I think Josh had more fun listening to me rant and rave as he tried to keep up behind me!
I just had a really scary thought. Some of the kids that go to school there now weren't even born when I went there! Getting old!

Life story in forgotten pictures

2007-07-19T06:25:00.000-07:00

Last week my Mom brought my grandpa's desk to our house for us to use. In high school, this desk was the one I used in my room. So I was really excited to get it back. However, my mom made fun discovery while preparing the desk for the trip to Charleston. Tucked away and lost (until now) behind one of the drawers was a folder of photos that were taken my junior year of high school. They were of a youth group trip I went on during the spring of that year and the church Valentine's Day banquet I attended. In both sets my best friend Alicia and I were dating two young men from the group. Honestly, it was comical to see the pictures and remember my thought processes back then of where I just knew my life was going to end up.
All I ever have to do whenI get the urge to revisit my past is to open up a photo album or a dusty yearbook--or my mom's favorite, watch old home videos. Yet it is the forgotten pictures and videos that really catch me off my guard. I have an extremely vivid memory of what was going on in nearly all of the pictures that have been taken of me. When I come across one that isn't in my short term memory my mind has a field day thinking back to when it was taken and what was going on in my life. I was so sure in these particular photos that my life would take a specific direction and that life was pretty much neatly laid out before me to experience. Oh how life took a much different turn!
There are people I’ve met and experiences I’ve had that I couldn’t have possibly imagined back when I was only 16. The decisions I have made have shaped me into a person much different than the one I had in mind. Some things I have done I look back on fondly with a humble pride. Other things I am not so proud and joyful. But what remains at the end of my personal reflection is that I am satisfied with myself and where the direction of my life is headed. It makes me wonder 10 years into the future and what hidden photos taken of me now may pop up and surprise me then.
Your thoughts? Ever run across an old picture of yourself that you forgot existed? What went through your head as you thought back to that time and place?

Snap! The job's a game!

2007-07-11T10:54:00.000-07:00

Have your ever had the feeling that you have been placed exactly where God has intended for your life? This week I have been on the biggest spiritual high. (a lot better than last week's post) The CSU Music Therapy department has been hosting its annual camp for children with special needs. Several local music therapists are running the activities while the college students (like myself) are the camp counselors. We go around with the children to each activity helping them to stay engaged, use the instruments, deal with behavior issues, etc... Although I cannot post details because of confidentiality I did want to reflect on the experience I have had so far.
Yesterday I was strategically placed with one child because my instructors remembered that I had received training in inclusive classrooms with the Birth-Kindergarten department at App State. Again, I cannot describe the child in detail. However, I have had a wonderful time getting to know and interact with her. Each day I have focused on different things to work on by using the music tools and resources that the therapists have made available to us. The best part is I don't get burnt out. I feel like I have four hours of "playtime" even though in reality I am constantly interacting with and redirecting her at a level of activity that becomes quite exhausting. There is no "down time" from the moment the children arrive to their departure. Sure I feel the fatigue when I get home and begin to wind down from all the activity. But I absolutely love watching all of the kids respond to the music and movement; seeing them make a positive connection with what we are trying to introduce to them and teach.
I do believe that my love for music and children have been finally placed together to where I can use them both effectively. I'm so psyched about all that has happened so far this week. And we still have two more days of learning and having fun! I'm so thankful to God for giving me the talents that I have. I feel a deep responsibility to use my gifts to His glory. And I pray every day that all I do will be honorable to Him.

Trying to find the fun

2007-07-05T14:35:00.000-07:00

I believe that I am the kind of person that can usually have fun or make something enjoyable out of most any situation. When I go places with friends I'm usually one of the more complacent, non-picky people for choosing an activity. However I am finding an increasing loathing and intolerance of sports.
Growing up, I was the band geek. I was not really encouraged to join any sports teams and in all actuallity I had no interest. Playing music was my passion. I found loads of enjoyment participating in honor bands and the Charleston Youth Symphony. I never thought twice about not being involved with any of the girls sports teams at school. As an adult I have discovered that most of my friends did participate in sports. Or more appropriately, playing sports comes quite naturally for them.
Last night we went to a church event where there was tons of food, fireworks and a backyard game of volleyball. The girls were hopelessly outnumbered by the guys so I decided to help them out. I might of well just stood on the sidelines watching. I was doing so poorly it started to make me angry. If it was my turn to serve the ball either landed just shy of the net or went way off out of bounds. Only once, in the three hours I played, did one of my serves go over the net properly. Whenever it came time for me to hit the ball I looked like a fish out of water, flailing my arms all over the places. I would watch these other adults and kids spike it perfectly over the net with style and grace. Mark even came out after a few games and scored point after point having not played volleyball in years. My buddy, Andrew, was giving me friendly pointers in between games but it didn't do much good. Eventually I had to just walk away.
Why do I get so frustrated? Playing sports should be fun. Not irritating. I cringe whenever someone brings up the idea of playing pool, basketball or even bowling! I have never broken the score of 100 bowling. Never. Sure it's all in good fun. But when you are always the one who does the most poorly every single time, do I have a reason to be frustrated? I absolutely hate people that put a damper on everyone's good mood. Yet, I feel like I do this whenever the activity is a sport. It's just not fun for me anymore.
I don't want to pitch a fit and act like a party pooper. I'm just tired of it. It would be nice to participate in any kind of game and not be the dead weight for once. I guess that's enough venting for the time being...