Touch and a Smile
We are experiencing yet another difficult "hurdle" in our family right now. And I'd rather not elaborate on details given the nature of the situation.
The past few days and nights have been extremely trying for me. Dealing with the reality of a very disappointing situation and continuing to care for Molly have been in a constant conflict. Several nights in a row I have cried myself to sleep, using these moments to indulge myself to where it wouldn't have an immediate effect on my daughter. Don't mistake me, I don't try to shield my emotions from her. Molly has seen me cry several times. She's seen me happy, angry, overjoyed, overwhelmed,... These have been heart pouring, emotional releasing, just flat out crying opportunities.
I think, in a toddler way, she is tapping into my sadness. She has identified this emotion on her own when watching movies or reading a book with me. I was on the phone crying at breakfast the other day. Normally this is a very special and sweet time for us. And I rarely allow phone calls to interrupt this meal (or any meal for that matter). Molly simply stared at me and calmly continued with her breakfast until she was finished.
This evening, as we were ending our nightly bedtime routine, I held Molly close against my chest as we swayed back and forth in the rocker. She lifted her head and looked directly into my eyes. Molly lifted her hand, placed it gently against my cheek and smiled. No body part ID (like she normally would do). Just a smile.
There is nothing in this whole wide world I can think of that could have lifted my spirits quite like that.
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